Undercover Gone Wrong
by SelfDoubter
Summary: What happens with Jane's latest undercover assignment goes horribly wrong. I do not own Rizzoli and Isles. Just having a little fun.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello all. I'm back with another story. This one like the last just popped in my head and just fell onto the page. Please leave me a review letting me know what you think. This will be a multi chapter fic, this chapter is more along a T rating but will move to M in later chapters.**

 **I own nothing except my laptop.**

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Maura sits on her couch in a form fitting black dress, four inch black heel and her soft honey blonde curls flowing over her shoulder and down her back. Her gaze is set off in the distance. She is snapped out of her own thoughts by a knock at the door. She stands and pressing the nonexistent wrinkles out of her dress. She grabs her small black clutch from the table by the door. She follows the drive out the black Lincoln Town Car. She rides along in silence, the drive has asked her a few questions along the way but she doesn't hear a word he says.

The streets of Boston wiz by without Maura even noticing. The driver come around and opens the door.

"Ma'am, where here." He says softly.

Maura exists the vehicle with a small nod of thanks to the man. She heads in the building in front of her. She walks to the front row and takes her seat. She doesn't look at anyone in the room and really isn't hearing anything the man standing at the podium is saying. Half hour after taking her seat she feels a hand on her shoulder. Her eyes go from the hand on her shoulder up the arm to see Frost saying something to her.

"Maura, it's time." He says as he squeezes the doctors shoulder and lets go when he sees her snap out of the daze she has been since she walked in the door. Maura stands from her seat placing her clutch in her place and walks up the steps and to the podium. She tries to control her breathing by clenching and unclenching her fists.

Maura takes one more deep breath before raising her eyes and looking out into the crowd. She places her hands on the podium in an attempt to ground herself. She promised herself she wouldn't get emotional but standing here in a room full of onlookers she is finding it hard to keep her composure. She lets out a shaky breath before she begins.

"Today.." Her voice cracks and she clears her throat again. This was a lot more difficult than she had anticipated. "Sorry. Today we are here to celebrate the life of Jane Rizzoli. Jane was an amazing detective, a wonderful daughter and sister and the most loving friend anyone could have ever asked for. She loved her family and friends and she loved her job. Being a detective is something she had always wanted to be and she achieved that goal at such a young age. And she gave the greatest sacrifice for that job, her life. An absolutely beautiful life. Yes, Jane was sarcastic, boisterous, outspoken, a giant pain in the ass." Everyone in the church chuckle softly before she continues.

"But Jane was so much more than that. She was loving and loyal to a fault. If you were one of the lucky few that Jane truly loved as her family you know the kind heart she had. That you could call her anytime of the day or night and she would be there. Even if you were wrong she would back you up. She would kill me for saying this but she had the kindest soul of anyone I have ever met. Jane never showed that openly, because she figured it would make her seem weak and in her line of work a weak detective didn't get far. Jane wanted to be someone her little brother could be proud of and look up to. She couldn't have been more proud of you Frankie when you passed your detective's exam. Even been you passed she talked about what a great cop you are and how well you would do as a homicide detective. Over the years Jane welcomed so many of us into her family. Frost, Korsak, we all know Jane considered us all family and it didn't matter if we were related by blood. And that is a testament you Angela. You are a wonderful mother and your guidance and love created the amazing woman we all grew to know and love. You being so open and loving taught Jane to be the same. I personally could have asked for a better best friend and I will never be able to find another person on this earth that can possible compare or replace her. We all love Jane Rizzoli so much and today is a day to honor and celebrate her life. We love you Jane, you will be missed every minute of everyday." Maura's voice waivers at the end as tears she can no longer hold back stream down her face.

Maura quickly removes herself from the podium and takes her seat to the right of Angela. The Rizzoli matriarch reaches over and grabs the doctor's hand and gives it a firm squeeze. Korsak and Frankie both took turns speaking about their partner and sister. Maura didn't hear a word of it, pulled from her thoughts until Angela stood up and pulled Maura with her. She fell in line behind the coffin draped in the American flag. Maura's entire body trembled as they walked Frost walked from behind her and took Maura's other arm to help keep her upright.

The all stood on the steps of the church and watched as Jane's coffin was slid into the back of the hearse. Once Jane was safely inside all mourners got into their respective limos, cars, and unmarked squads and followed Jane to her final resting place. Maura shared a limo with Angela, Frankie and Tommy. Her eyes never left the window, she again sat in silence and watched Boston pass them by. Once they arrived at the cemetery everyone climbed out of their vehicles and walked over to the small patch of grass. Maura again took a seat next to Angela, the moment they sat down she reached over and grabbed the older woman's hand.

Maura cannot believe she is sitting her in front of Jane's flag draped coffin. She completely gave up on even trying to hold back her tears. This was truly her last goodbye to the best friend she has ever know and the person she loved most in this world. What Maura would give for just a little more time with the raven haired detective. She has more money than nearly everyone on this planet and she would give it all up and live on the streets if she could just bring Jane back.

Everyone falls quiet as the priest begins his last reading. Maura's grip on Angela's hand tightens as two officers begin folding the flag that was draped over the coffin. The doctor did not want to let go but she was given no choice as Angela was given the folded flag. The mourners have all left aside from Angela, Frankie, Korsak and Maura.

"Maura, sweetie we will meet you back at the house for the luncheon." Angela says before kissing the side of Maura's head. It breaks her heart to see her other daughter so distraught.

"Vince, will you please stay with her?" Angela asks.

"Of course, we'll see you at home." Vince gives Angela a quick hug. The veteran detective thought for half a second about going up to the medical examiner. But being a detective he also had an idea of how Maura and his former partner felt about each other even if they were both too scared to say it to one another. He decides to take a seat in the back row and wait until the doctor has said her goodbyes and is ready to leave.

Maura could have been sitting there for three days for all she knew. When she finally got out of her thoughts she found herself sitting alone in front of Jane. Panic set in and she looked around to find Korsak sitting in the last row waiting on her. He's a good man, she thought to herself. It was getting late and she had a houseful of people she needed to get to. She moves over the the coffin and lays her hand on the smooth lid.

"Jane, my sweet friend. What am I going to do now? You're gone and my heart hurts. This hurts so bad, I thought it hurt when we fought but that is nothing compared to what I feel now. I am broken now. I don't know how to move on. How could I possibly move on from the one person who treated me like a real person. Someone who did treat me like I am strange. You let me be myself, I didn't need to put on expensive clothes and act like a some prim and proper sophisticated woman. You never cared about any of that. You loved me for who I was and defended me to the ends of this earth. And there is nothing I do or say to thank you enough. I love you Jane. No, I don't just love you, I am in love you with you. And I don't know how to do this without you. I love you so much it hurts." Maura bends down and places a kiss on the lid before turning and walking past Korsak and to the awaiting limo.

They arrive at Maura's townhouse and greeted by half of the BPD. Maura says her hello's to everyone and takes a seat in the armchair over by the fireplace. She watches as people come and go, some she knows some she doesn't. Small clusters of people are chatting about this and that. Some are laughing about Jane's antics while others are crying for their lost friend. When the only one's remain with those closest to Jane the doctor finally gets up and walks to the fridge and grabs one of Jane's three remaining beers. She opens it and presses the long necked bottle to her lips. Jane loved Blue Moon and Maura always kept some in the house, she probably may never get rid of the remain two bottle in her fridge. She wanted to keep as much of Jane around as she can.

"Maura, how you holding up sweetie?" Angela asks as she leans against the kitchen island.

"I'm hanging in there. But how are you?" Maura reaches for the Rizzoli matriarchs hand.

"I'm okay right now." Angela nods with a tight lipped smile.

"I think Frost and I are going to get going. Let you guys settle in. Do you want us to help clean up before we go?" Korsak was asking more to Angela than to Maura.

"No I think we can handle it. Goodnight boys." Both men gave each woman a hug before taking their leave.

Angela closes the door and locks it behind the men. She begins picking up discarded plates, napkins, bottles and glasses.

"You don't have to do that Angela, I'll get it in a minute. Why don't you head to your house and go relax. This past week must have taken so much out of you." Maura says in a monotone. Not that she is trying to kick the older woman out but she would love to be alone right now.

"Alright, sweetie. You call me or come over if you need anything." Angela wraps Maura in a bone crushing hug before heading out the side door and over to the guest house.

Maura locks the door once Angela has walked through. She runs her hand through her hair and sighs. How did she get here? How did everything go so horribly wrong? She moves about the house picking up the remnants of the luncheon. Once everything on the main level was back to is pristine condition Maura turns the lights out and heads to her bedroom.

She quickly goes through her nightly routine before putting on a pair of Jane's old sweats and BPD tee. She climbs into bed bringing her knees to her chest Maura inhales sharply and is surrounded by the light lavender scent that is uniquely Jane. Once the scent memory kicks in Maura begins shaking and sobbing. She has held it together most for the entire day and now she is alone in her room and never in her life has she truly and completely felt so alone. Fifteen minutes after she started crying she begins to hyperventilate and lays down. Nothing she has tried so far to calm herself down has worked so she figures she might as well be laying down because her as some point her body will just give in and she will have no choice but to fall into the darkness. The last thing she remembers before that darkness took over was looking to her nightstand and seeing a picture of Jane and herself at last year's BPD barbeque. Jane must have said something funny because both women are laughing so hard Maura is leaned against Jane. And then darkness took hold of Maura.

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 **There you have the first chapter. Please let me know what you all think.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello all, thanks for the reviews it really means a lot. This is just something that spoke to me and it's kind of just flowing out. Please keep coming with the review. And if you follow my other story I will be working on both and updating as often as possible.**

 **I do not own My Immortal by Evanescence nor do I own Rizzoli and Isles. Hope you all enjoy this next chapter.**

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 **6 weeks later**

Maura pulls off her gloves and tosses them into the biohazard bin in the corner of the room. She grabs the case file from the counter by the sink and heads to her office. Looking at the clock she notices it's after three in the afternoon and she has forgotten to eat lunch, again. The doctor sighs and pinces the bridge of her nose. The case they are currently working on is pretty cut and dry. The husband came home to find his wife in bed with the nanny. Needless to say he didn't handle it will. He shot both the wife and the nanny, he confessed the second they got him into the interrogation room. All she needed to do before going home is to finish up her report, sign it and send it upstairs to Detective Frost. A knock at the door pulls her attention from her paperwork.

"Doctor Isles, is there anything you need me to do?" Susie asks from the doorway.

"If you wouldn't mind could you please run this file up to Detective Frost?" Maura says as she finishes signing the last page.

"Sure thing." Susie grabs the report and heads up to the bullpen. She heads over to Frost's desk and places down the folder.

"Hey, thanks Susie." He says as he opens the file.

"Um, Frost can I talk to you and Korsak about something?" Susie chews on the inside of her cheek nervously. She probably shouldn't be discussing this with the two detectives but at this point she is desperate.

"Yeah, what's up?" Korsak rounds his desk.

"I, I am worried about Dr Isles. And I know I probably shouldn't say anything but I am really really worried at this point. I don't think I've seen her eat in a few days. She never leaves the morgue and when she does she goes home and that's it. I tried to get her to go with me to a yoga class but she refused." Susie rambles on pleading with the two men.

"I am just as worried as you. Hell, Korsak, she showed up to a crime scene last week in a pair of faded jeans and t-shirt. Dr Isles, the woman that could be on the cover of a fashion magazine showed up in flats and clothes that I am pretty sure were Jane's." Frost leans back in his chair as he two begins to ramble on. Everyone was worried about Maura but no one knows what to do to help her.

"Look you two, I'll go down and talk to her. We just finished this case and Frost and I are going to the Robber after work. I will head down to her office and tell her she is coming out with us. I'll talk to her there, I am not going to talk to her at work. She is an emotional wreck as it is and she will be more embarrassed and hurt if she gets upset here. I won't even give her the choice about coming or not. Sound okay?" Both Frost and Chang nod. They both know if anyone could get the doctor to come along it would be Korsak.

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At five o'clock Korsak headed down to the medical examiner's office to get Maura and take her to the Dirty Robber for dinner and drinks. He sighs as he walks through the door of the small office to see the doctor staring at a photo on her desk. He can tell she had been crying her eyes and nose are red and puffy. He clears his throat to get her attention.

"Hey, Doc, got a minute." He doesn't wait for a response he walks straight up to her desk.

"Yes, Detective, what can I do for you?" She attention breaks away from the photo when the older detective begins talking.

"Frost and I are headed to the Dirty Robber to get some dinner and drinks now that we cleared this case and you are coming with us." He is cut off by the doctor.

"I can't, I'm sorry. Maybe some other time." Maura doesn't want to be rude but she hasn't been able to even drive past the Robber since Jane's death.

"Maura I get it, you are sad and grieving we all are. But you can't keep shutting everyone out. Let us be there for you, we can help each other. You haven't been yourself lately and everyone is getting really worried about you." Korsak's tone is gently he knows the medical examiner is in a fragile place and he doesn't want to do anything to send her spiralling further down into the rabbit hole.

"Why is everyone talking about me behind my back? They have no right. It is my life and I am entitled to do as I please. My private life is my business, they don't like it too bad." She snaps.

"Look Maura, I know how much Jane meant to you. And I know you are hurting but please let us be there for you. Angela said she hasn't even talked to you in a week. Every time she comes over you say a polite hello and that's it. We all lost Jane and now we feel like we are losing you too. Please come out with Frost and I, you don't have to stay long." He stands watching as a range of emotions play across the doctor's face.

"Fine, I will have one drink." Maura knows Korsak means well and Angela has been trying to reach out. She doesn't mean to keep shutting everyone out but it hurt too much to be around everyone. Everywhere she looks she sees Jane, she hears Jane when she is sitting alone at home watching a documentary asking her if she needs a refill on her wine. She knows Jane isn't there but for just a minute she lets herself forget.

"I'm going to go and head over to the Robber, if you aren't there in thirty minutes I am going to put out an APB for you. I will have every cop in this city looking for you and drag you there kicking and screaming if I have too." He gives her a small smile and nod before heading but upstairs to gather his things and head out for the night.

"God." Maura huff and leans back in her chair. How did she ever get to this point.

Maura sits in her car parked a few buildings away from the Dirty Robber. She has been looking at the building for five minutes, she just cannot seem to make her body move. She pulls out her phone and thinks about texting Korsak and tell him she just isn't ready for this. _You can do this, just one glass of wine and you can go and they will have to be satisfied. They will leave you alone._ She takes a few more breaths before heading into the Robber. She slides into the empty side of the booth.

"You came." Frost nearly squeals.

"Thank you for coming." Korsak says. "I was going to go get another beer, would you like me to get you something?"

"A glass of red if you don't mind." Maura's voice is soft, she made a beeline to the booth the second she walked in and hasn't look around. There are just too many memories of Jane here. She smiles and takes the glass of wine Korsak brought her. "Thank you."

"Don't mention it. You want to order something to eat?" Korsak asks.

"No, I'm not going to stay long." Maura sips her wine and allows herself to look around the bar. Her heart pangs when she looks over to the end of the bar where Jane and her sat throwing peanuts at Frankie and Mr Rizzoli. She thinks back to the last time Jane and her where there, they sat two booths over. They sat, talked and laughed for hours until they were both too drunk to drive home and they took a cab back to Jane's apartment.

"Come on, Doc, don't quit before you even give us a chance. Stay, talk, yell for all I care. We just want to help. And if you don't want to talk about Jane then we won't. We can just sit here and talk about whatever." Frost reaches across the table and gives the doctor's hand a squeeze.

"Alright." Maura nods more as a reassurance to herself than anything else.

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Frost left about half an hour ago, leaving Korsak and Maura alone in the bar. They spent most of the night avoiding the topic of Jane. And the two detective's talked about what was going on outside of work. Maura was thankful to them both for keeping the topic light. The older detective was going on about the new dog he found outside of his neighborhood. But Maura's mind drifted once again to the raven haired detective. The song playing over head changes.

 _ **I'm so tired of being here**_

 _ **Suppressed by all my childish fears**_

 _ **And if you have to leave**_

 _ **I wish that you would just leave**_

' _ **Cause your presence still lingers here**_

 _ **And it won't leave me alone**_

 _ **These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real**_

 _ **There's just too much that time cannot erase**_

 _ **When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears**_

 _ **When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears**_

 _ **And I held your hand through all of these years**_

 _ **But you still have me**_

Maura tries to focus on what Korsak is saying but right now the only thing she can hear is the song playing. She has never heard it before but even before the words rang out over the speaker the opening instrumental had drawn her in. She grabs her phone and opens it and opens the recording app and hits record. She is no longer looking at the detective, she is looking at the small place between the door that leads into the bar and the one leading outside. Images of Jane and herself standing in the small vestibule soaked to the bone. They had been standing outside waiting for a car to pick them up because again they had a little too much to drink. The sky opened up and the downpour that started soaked them in under thirty seconds. They ran in and stood laughing but soon something changed. They were standing too close, there breathing was ragged from the running back inside and laughing. Jane's hand brushed Maura's and she held her breath.

 _ **You used to captivate me by your resonating light**_

 _ **Now, I'm bound by the life you left behind**_

 _ **Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams**_

 _ **Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me**_

 _ **These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real**_

 _ **There's just too much that time cannot erase**_

 _ **When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears**_

 _ **When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears**_

 _ **And I held your hand through all these years**_

 _ **But you still have all of me**_

The images in Maura's mind are so clear, it's like she is reliving them. She can smell of faint scent of the beer Jane had drank and the lavender scent seemed to intensify when the raven haired woman got soaked. Maura's eyes fall closed as she gets lost in the past. Jane stepping forward brushing a limp strand of honey blonde hair behind Maura's ear as she leans into the touch. And just before Jane leans down to press their lips together the car service arrives and honks. Both women blink and Maura backed away. That is the doctor's biggest regret, Jane had made a move and she was too scared. She didn't want to lose her best friend and she wanted to keep Jane with her forever. And if they stepped over that thin line and something went wrong all could have been lost. But now, everything was lost anyway.

 _ **I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone**_

 _ **But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along**_

 _ **When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears**_

 _ **When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears**_

 _ **And I held your hand through all of these years**_

 _ **You still have all of me, me me**_

Maura opens her eyes and sees the concerned look on Korsak's face.

"I'm sorry I have to go." The doctor quickly got out of the booth, put her phone in her pocket and dropped more money than needed on the table.

"Maura, wait." Korsak's pleas fall on deaf ears. He slumps back in the booth and sighs. He thought getting Maura out of her house and office, hell out of her own head would be good for her. But halfway through the night he saw the change in the doctor. Her eyes looked pained and she couldn't get out of her own mind. He even thought at one point she said Jane's name under her breath.

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Maura sits in her car in her driveway and cries, at first it started as silent tears but once she was safely in her driveway she let the emotions wash over her. Before she left the bar she looked up the name of that song _My Immortal_ by _Evanescence_ and listened to it on loop ever since. Her chest hurt from the racking sobs that have overtaken her body. She screams, she screams so loud and so long she is certain she may have ripped her vocal cords. Her throat is hurts, her body and soul hurts, and her heart is in pieces.

"I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do this." Maura chants. She is desperately trying to get her breathing under control when she hears a knock on the window. She looks over to see Angela standing there.

"Maura, sweetie come inside." The old woman opens the driver side door. She is fighting to keep her own tears at bay, seeing her other daughter in this state is breaking her heart.

"I..I'm s..sorry Angela." Maura's words come out jagged, she knows she cannot win this battle so she grabs her purse and keys and heads inside with Angela. Once inside she locks the door and follows the older woman to the couch.

"Sweetheart, talk to me. Please." Angela pleads.

"I can't." It's all Maura can get out. She grabs a tissue from the coffee table and wipes her eyes and nose.

"Sure you can. I know I have told you before that you are like a daughter to me and I meant that. You are my family even.." The older woman pauses before continuing. "Even if Janie isn't here. Let me help you through this."

It takes Maura about ten minutes to calm down. In the meantime Angela busied herself in the kitchen making them a cup of tea. She came back into the living room handing the doctor her mug. After a few more minutes of silence Maura turns to the older woman.

"Angela, I don't know what to do anymore. I..I am lost. I can't eat, work or sleep. It doesn't matter where I am or what I am doing everything reminds me of Jane. I see her at work, I hear her when I am sitting alone. I know everyone grieves differently and I thought that over time things would get better, but they're not. I even wrote a resignation letter, for half a minute I thought if I left Boston I could move on. But I can't, I was packing a bag and put a few of Jane's clothes in there because I have to sleep in them. It's the only way I can get even a few hours of sleep but I couldn't do it. I had a panic attack about the mere thought of leaving. Jane is here she is all around us. I can't leave her alone, I don't want to be alone." By the end Maura is crying again.

"Oh, Maura. Why haven't you come and talked to me sooner. We are all trying our best to deal with all of this but we need to be there for each other. I know how much you loved my Janie. I really do and I will help you get through this if you let me." Angela leans and hugs the doctor.

Maura rests her chin on Angela's shoulder and lets the tears roll. She was never close with her own mother and over the years the older Rizzoli really welcomed her fully into the family. They'd go on shopping trips and lunch dates because Jane hated them so much. Both woman got what they craved, a caring mother and a girly daughter. That's not to say Angela didn't love her daughter and it didn't mean Maura didn't love her mother.

"Thank you." Maura whispers. "I am so tired."

"Why don't you go up and take a bath and lay down in bed, I'll lock up but I will be right next door if you need me." She gives Maura one more tight squeeze before leaving.

Maura rinses the mugs and puts them in the dishwasher and head up to her bedroom. She shuffles into the bathroom. Instead of a bath she opts for a quick shower. She changes into Jane's Red Sox jersey and crawls under the covers. She inhales Jane's scent and moves the picture on the nightstand so she can see it clearly from her spot in bed.

"Goodnight, Jane. I miss you, I miss you so, so very much. I don't know how much longer I can go on without you." Maura lays back against the pillows and stares at the picture until she finally falls asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey all, I'm back with another chapter today. I needed to get this one out because honestly I knew if I didn't I wouldn't be able to sleep or concentrate at work in the morning. I hope you enjoy. As always please leave me a review. It helps better understand if I am on the right track.**

 **I own nothing except my laptop.**

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It's been a little over a week since Maura went out with Detective's Korsak and Frost. At first things had been a little better. She let Angela make her breakfast the next morning. They talked and just enjoyed each other's company. But after Angela left all she could think about was Jane. She sat alone in her kitchen with a picture of the raven haired detective on the counter. She did what had become normal. She talked to Jane, she told her everything that had been going on. Told her how much she missed her, how she sees her at every turn. How she missed being able to relax on the couch and watch a movie and waking up to Jane brushing her hair out of her face as the movie ends after she fell asleep. The longer she talked to Jane the more she couldn't think about life without her.

It's a quarter to eight on Friday night, Maura stayed late doing a favor for a senator whose brother passed away at home. It's routine that anyone passing without a physician present will need an autopsy. There was nothing to find other than the man had stage 4 lung cancer. She was doing the Senator a favor by getting the autopsy done as quickly as possible so he could take is brother home to Arizona for burial. She called the funeral home letting them know the body will be available for pickup first thing tomorrow morning.

Friday nights were always ladies night for Maura and Jane. Take out and a movie and snuggling a little too close on the couch for just friends. Neither one of them had ever been brave enough to broach the subject. So Maura decided to call it a night and head home. She'd need to stop off at the store and pick up some more wine but all she cared about now was getting home. She made her way to the store she picked up two bottles of Chateau Margaux and before you the doctor knew it she was in the cold beer section grabbing a six pack of Blue Moon.

When Maura got home she unlocked the door and headed inside. She opened up one bottle of wine and left it on the counter to breathe. She turned back to the counter and her eyes filled with tears when she noticed the six pack sitting there. _How did this get here. Did I really just buy this?_ The doctor didn't even remember pick them up, she remembers the wine and thinking she should probably get a few groceries for the house since the fridge is bare apart from the two old bottle of Blue Moon Jane never had the chance to drink. Just as she was about to fall apart Angela walked through the back door.

"Maura, I saw you drive up and wanted to check on you. Maybe make you some dinner? You have gotten awfully thin. And when I was here yesterday I was going to make myself some toast and found the fridge and pantry empty. You have to eat, please let me make you something?" Angela looks at the doctor with a smile.

"I'm really not that hungry but if you insist I will gladly let you make something for yourself and I can put the rest up for later." Maura give the older woman the best smile she can muster

"Maura, sweetie?" Angela moves around the kitchen. She had brought a bag of groceries needed to make some lasagna.

"Angela?" Maura had been sitting at the island staring at the six pack she has yet to put up.

"Can I put those up for you? I know you don't drink beer and neither do I. But you have been sitting there staring a hole in them since before I walked in." The older woman leans over the counter to look at the doctor.

"I, I don't even know why I bought them. I was at the store and when I got home they were just her. Their Jane's." Maura was cut off by Angela raising her hand.

"I get it, it's Friday night. You two had a standing date night. It was bound to happen at some point. But you can't keep doing this to yourself. You have to try and move forward." The Rizzoli matriarch's arch convey all the sadness she is feeling for her other daughter.

"I'm trying, I really am. It's just really hard. I just keep replaying that last day." Maura's voice cracks. The time dings signaling dinner is ready. Angela grabs a plate for herself but knows the doctor isn't there yet so she moves to the dining room table.

"Come sit with me, if you won't eat that's fine but at least come and sit with me and tell me what's going on." Angela pulls out a seat before taking one herself. "Talk."

Maura tops off her wine before she does as instructed and takes the seat next to Angela.

"Did you talk to Jane right before she left?" Maura asks.

"I talked to her a few hours before, everything happened really quickly. When Jane got the call they needed her to go then and now. She only had about three hours before her flight to New York." Angela looks over at Maura with a questioning look.

"Well, I was probably the last person to see her before she left then." Maura just shakes her head.

"I already know this. But what I don't know is why you seem so upset about it. What happened?" Angela pushes her plate back when she realizes she is missing something. "How about I clean up and we move to the couch. I can see I don't know everything that happened. I talked to Jane a few times after she went under. But it was always quick we never got into anything too deep. She never said anything about what happened between you two before she left."

"Something did happened. I killed Jane." Maura blurts out the words she has been trying to stuff down for the last seven weeks.

"Don't say that. Go get on the couch and I will be right there and I will let you explain." As Angela clears the table she shakes her head. It's all starting to make sense now. How Maura took the news so hard. So much harder than she thought she would have. And why the doctor has completely cut everyone off. Why she can't move on and Angela was bound and determined to prove to Maura she is not responsible for what happened to her daughter. Angela takes a seat next to Maura and waits for her to start when she is ready. The doctor takes a deep breath trying to calm her emotions.

"Okay, so I was at home because it was so slow at work we hadn't had a case in nearly a week. Jane text me and said she needed to talk to me and she was on her way over." Maura stops because her emotions are already getting too her. Her body is shaking so bad she can barely hold her glass so she puts it back down as not to spill on her dress or her couch.

"I kinda figured all that Maura. I knew she came over here but how does her coming over here and telling you in person mean you had something to do with what happend?" Angela's voice is soft and understanding. She is missing something but she doesn't want to push the doctor too far out of fear she may shut down completely.

"She came over over and she was pacing kitchen I asked her if she wanted a beer. That she seemed tense and anxious. I asked her what was wrong. That's when she told me she was going undercover. She said she couldn't tell me where exactly she was going or what she was doing but she would be gone for a good bit of time." Maura rubs her shaking palms on her thighs.

"You don't have to tell me. I can see you are not ready for this." Angela says.

"No, I need to tell you. You have a right to know why your daughter died." The last word comes out strangled.

"Maura." Before Angela can say anything the doctor cuts her off.

"No, it's the truth. I killed Jane, I am the reason your daughter and my best friend is dead. She said she couldn't drink because when she got off the plane she had to go right under. I told her not to go, I had such a bad feeling about. The second she told me I got this sick feeling in my stomach and I have had it ever since. She said she had to go that she was they only detective that had been trained to go undercover that was available to go. At first I pleaded, I begged her to stay. I told her, god, I told her I felt it in my bones something wasn't right. She just stood there at the island and told me this is what she does. It's her job. And I know that I really do. But I didn't want to let her go. My mind kept going back to every time there was a close call. When she shot herself to save Frankie and myself, when she jumped off that damn bridge. Each and every close call it broke me a little further. But each time Jane was okay, if I wasn't so analytical I would swear she had some sort of good luck charm stashed away somewhere. And every time she came back to me even a little battered but she still came back, alive. But I knew at some point she wouldn't" Maura reaches for another tissue and Angela rubs her back softly.

"I had no idea, I am so sorry." Angela says.

"I tried the begging thing, the bartering thing, everything under the sun I could think of to get her to stay. And then I got angry. I couldn't help myself I told her she was being selfish. I told her all she cared about was her career. That she didn't care about her family and least of all about me. She told me that it wasn't true, that this case was huge and they needed someone with experience. She tried to calm me down but I wasn't hearing it. I couldn't hear it, all I could think about was myself. The one that was selfish was me, I couldn't bare the thought of losing Jane. She was everything to me and I couldn't look past my own selfish wants and needs. I told her I couldn't keep doing this. I couldn't keep watching her walk away and not know that she is safe. I know it was so wrong. That I should never ever had dumped all of that on her before she had to go off to work and risk..her life. She tried to talk to, tried to get me to see reason. I wasn't hearing it. She tried to hug me before she left and.." Maura's voice is thick with emotion. "And I pushed her away. I told her if she really truly cared about me she wouldn't go. She said she was so sorry but she had to head to the airport." Maura covers her mouth with her trembling hand over her mouth.

"Sweetie." Angela tries to pull Maura into a hug but Maura shifts back so she is out of reach.

"No, don't I killed your daughter. As she walked to the door I told her she needed to come back and quickly because I didn't know how long I could sit here and wait for a phone call telling me something had happened. Or for her to just walk there my door at work with that big cocky grin to prove me wrong. What I said, that's the reason Jane is dead. That's the reason the one person I truly wholeheartedly love is gone. I did that, it's all on me. Nothing I do can take that back, I can't fix it. And the worst part for me is that Jane had called me after she left. I sent it to voicemail and after two days I listened to it. I still have it, I have listened that message a dozen times a day since she died. And when I finally decided to get my act together and call her back. It was too late. I don't even know if she ever heard my message, I asked, I asked Lieutenant Cavanaugh if he could get her phone, so I could see if she had listened to the message. He said there was nothing he could do. I asked Frost if he could see if he could tell and he tried but the message was sent but there was no way of knowing if she had heard it or not. I don't know if she knew I wasn't mad anymore. She said in her message she missed me and couldn't wait to get back home. I don't, I don't know if she knew everything with us was okay. I don't know if she was doing risky things to try and get home faster to fix things. She said it multiple times in the message that she was going to make it home and prove to me that she does care. And all I can think about now is that I..I killed her. I am so sorry Angela. I took your daughter away from you. This is all my fault." Maura slumps against the couch.

"Oh my god, Maura." Angela wraps the small doctor up in her arms and kisses the side of your head. "None of this is your fault. Janie loved her job and she loved you. I don't know if she heard your message. But I know she knows you love her. You have to believe me when I say this isn't your fault. Even after you told me everything I still don't see how you think you caused this to happen."

"Because, if I hadn't of told her she needed to get back to me fast or I was going to leave. She wouldn't have been reckless, she wouldn't have died. Excuse me I need to go. I just have to go." Maura gets up and heads towards the door.

"You can go upstairs but I am sitting here waiting for you. I will give you half an hour. I want to see you and know you are okay before I leave for the night. I know you just unloaded a lot and need time to process and are going to want to be alone. You are my family too, I will make sure you are okay before I leave tonight." Angela watches the doctor head upstairs. Her phone rings about twenty minutes after Maura went upstairs she answers and starts walking around the kitchen with talking.

"Yes, I understand. Okay. Yeah. Goodbye." Angela finishes with her call as Maura comes downstairs in Jane's Red Sox jersey.

"Who was that so late, is everything okay?" Maura stands at the edge of the island.

"Oh, that was..Frankie telling me that he has to work an extra shift tomorrow and he was canceling dinner with me. You doing a little better?" The older woman walks up to the doctor and gives her another hug.

"I don't know. Saying it out loud, makes it that much more real. I think I am going to go lay down. Thank you for dinner and listen to me. And being so kind." Maura says softly.

"I am always going to be here for you. Go get some sleep. I'll come by again tomorrow." With one more kiss to the head Angela heads back to the guest house.

Maura had been laying in her bed for about three hours when she saw lights flash in her windows. She looks at the clock, three in the morning. Maybe someone was just turning around in her driveway. Before she could even settle back down against her pillows she heard a knock at her door. _What the hell?_ Right now she keeps thinking about how Jane always told her she should keep a baseball bat or mace in the house just in case. She gets up and pads her way to the front door. She flips on the porch light and opens the door.

"Jane?" Maura's was barely audible. Her nostrils flare and she reaches back and punches the raven haired detective square in the nose.

* * *

 **Jeez please don't hate me for the cliffhanger. I am sure you all figured out this will be a Rizzles story. Hope you all enjoy.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello everyone, thank you all for the reviews. This chapter will answer a few of your questions.**

 **I sadly still do not own Rizzoli and Isles. Just taking our two favorite girls out for a little fun.**

* * *

 **9 week earlier**

"Thank you, Sir. I will head out and empty my workload and head home to get a few things packed." Jane walks out of Lieutenant Cavanaugh's office and shakes his hand. She heads back into the bullpen. She sits at her desk and grabs the two case files.

"Korsak, Frost, I need you guys to handle these two for me. Cavanaugh is sending me undercover and I apparently need to leave in four hours. I hate dumping this on you but we all know duty calls." Jane quickly grabs her phone off the desk.

"Whatever you need Jane, we're here. Just be safe. We'll keep an eye on things here." Frost says and gives his partner a hand shake.

"I'll make sure your mom and the doc are okay." Korsak nods and gives the brunette a small wave as she rushes off to the elevator.

"Why is she always getting to go undercover? I've been here for years now and haven't been asked to even train, what's with that" Frost tosses the file across the desk.

"Look kid, Jane is an amazing detective and great under pressure. You wouldn't last five minutes undercover. You toss your cookies at crime scenes. Maybe if you got that under control they might consider you." The older detective sees the hurt expression on Frost's face. "I'm not trying to be hard on you. I am just trying to be honest. But you really are a good detective you just have more things to learn. Jane, she has a natural talent for this kind of stuff. It's like she was born for it. Don't beat yourself up about it."

Frost nods and huffs. He knows what the old man is saying is true but it doesn't make it any easier. He thinks of Jane as a sister but she is always one upping him. He is beginning to completely understand what Frankie is always going on about.

* * *

Jane finished packing her bag and made a quick call to her mother saying she was on her way over with Jo Friday. Before she heads out the door she shoots her favorite doctor a text.

 **Hey, I am coming over I need to talk to you. You still at home? J**

Before Jane can even put the leash on her furry little companion her phone chimes.

 **Yes, Jane, I am still at home. Is everything okay? M**

Jane's response is immediate.

 **Yeah, just need to talk to you. See you soon. J**

Jane tosses her phone in her pocket and grabs her things before rushing down to her car. She drums her fingers against the steering wheel as she heads to Beacon Hill. The brunette heads to the side entrance and heads straight to the guest house. She only has about two hours left before she has to get to the airport. She walks right in and unleashes Jo Friday.

"Ma! You here?" Jane looks around the small living area and jumps as her mother comes out of the bathroom.

"Janie, what's going on? You were so rushed on the phone. Why am I keeping your dog?" The older Rizzoli wraps her daughter in a hug.

"I have to go undercover. I can't give you details you know that. I promise I will be safe, I am not going under alone. Miller is going under too, he's a great cop and this isn't his first rodeo." She looks at her watch." God, Ma, I gotta go. I have to talk to Maura before I leave. When I get settled I'll give you a call. But it won't be a lot." The brunette rushes out of the guest house and walks straight into the main house.

"Maura!" Jane yells, when she doesn't see the doctor in the living room she moves to the stairs and stops in her tracks when she sees the vision that is Dr. Maura Isles standing in front of her looking like she stepped off the pages of Vogue. Her heart speeds up the same way it always does when her best friend is near.

"Jane, are you alright?" When the honey blonde sees Jane a panic sets in. She can see how tense her best friend looks. She looks flushed and her pupils are dilated. "Go sit down and I will get you a beer."

"No, Maura, I can't. That's why I am here. I wanted to see you before I leave. I have to go undercover. I'm the only one with experience and we need to get someone under fast. This case is huge. I have to go I am so sorry I am giving you such short notice." Jane rambles on. She is torn, her head knows she needs to be getting into work mode but her heart wants to tell Maura how she really feels. But now isn't the time, when she tells her best friend she loves her, she wants it to be perfect. She wants to be able to talk and really talk, have a two sided conversation. Not blurt it out and run off to work for God knows how long.

Maura's mouth gapes open as she listens to her best friend. Her stomach does a flip and she is instantly nauseous. _This isn't right. Why does she need to leave now. This morning over coffee we were just talking about going to the Robber for dinner._ The doctor shakes her head.

"Wait, Jane, you can't go. They can't just expect you to drop everything at a minutes notice and leave. Why? Why does it have to be you? Can't Frost go?" Maura walks over and stands dangerously close the the raven haired detective. She needs to make Jane see, she needs to make her stay, to be safe. "Please, I..I have such a bad feeling about this. Please don't go. Something isn't right just listen listen to me. You cannot be prepared to go undercover so fast. You aren't in the mindset for, you can't be not on this short of a notice."

"I know it's fast but this is how it happens sometimes. When you get the orders you just have to go sometimes. But I promise I am ready for this, I have trained for this very thing. You of all people know I am physically in shape for this. I'll be fine. And I promise when I get settled I will call you and I can still get texts. When I am free I can respond. I'll be okay. But I have about forty minutes to get to the airport." Jane reaches for Maura's hands when she notices the doctor is clearly freaking out.

"No, if you walk out that door. I..I don't know how long I can do this. Not knowing if you are okay. All you are ever concerned about is you job. You don't care about your mother, your family and least of all me. How can you do this? After you jumped off that bridge you promised me. You promised me that you wouldn't keep taking these kinds of risks. You promised me." Maura pulls her hands from Jane's reach and covers her face to hide the tear threatening to fall.

"Ba..Maura I know. I know what I said and I am going to be so, so much more careful than I have ever been before. I am going to come back." Jane moves to wrap her best friend up in a hug but Maura shoves her away.

"NO! You don't get to hug me. You have to leave, you have to go play the hero. Go, but you need to get back here. You need to get back here me as fast as you can, Jane Rizzoli. Because I do not know how long I can wait. If you truly cared about me at all you'll stay." Maura closes her eyes and turns her back on her best friend so she wouldn't see the tears falling down her cheeks.

"Maura, I'm sorry I really am but I have to go. I needed to leave for the airport like ten minutes ago. I promise I will come back. I know you are mad at me and I get why. I am going back on a promise. But it's not to hurt you. You are my best friend and you mean the world to me. I will call you when I can, okay? Please just answer the call." Jane knows how much Maura is hurting, because she is hurting just as bad. This is way harder than it had ever been. The brunette gives her best friends shoulder a firm squeeze before rushing out the door.

* * *

 **3 days later**

Jane flops down on the crappy twin mattress in the shit hole of a temp house they set her up with. From the minute her plane landed the detective has been on the go. She got picked and was thrown right into the middle of things. She couldn't believe an hour after getting off the plane she already had the two dirty cops on her wire. But there was no time to rest, she had to go along on the most degrading prostitution check. She has never seen anything like it before. And now she is finally in the safety of this crappy apartment. The brunette grabs a quick shower and makes a Cup O' Noodles and calls her mother. She tried to make it quick but the older Rizzoli wanted make sure her daughter knew how worried everyone about her, especially the doctor. Her mother told her to be careful and told her she should get some sleep. But the detective had other ideas.

Jane turned the lights out and settles back on the bed. _Don't break two promises. You need to call her, you want to call her. Quit being a pussy, Rizzoli._ She sighs and picks up her phone and swipes it open. She can't help but grin at the goofy contact pic of her best friend. They were at the Robber and Frankie said something funny and Maura broke out into hysterical laughter and Jane had to snap a picture. The honey blonde saw the photo once and asked Jane to change it but there was no way the detective could do it. She pressed call and waited. After four rings it went to voicemail, Jane sighed and waited for the beep. In the meantime she beamed at hearing Maura's voice. _Damn, I miss that voice. Hell, I miss everything about that woman._

"Hey, Maura it me. Jane. I know when I left you were really upset and I totally understand why but please call me back. I swear to you I am being safe. I do care about you, you have no idea how much. I am working so hard to get everything we need to get this wrapped up fast. I told you I would get back to you as fast as possible. There is nothing more I want to do than to get home to you. Please don't stay mad at me for a long time. I have something I want to talk to you about. And the second I am done here, I will be on my way to see you first. I can't wait to get back to my best friend. I love you Maura. Talk to you soon." Jane hangs up and tosses her bed on the chair next to the bed before passing out for the night.

* * *

 **2 weeks later**

Jane paces in a small interrogation room, she is nervously rubs the scars on the backs of her hands. _How did this even happen? How did she get made? She was so careful._ She bounces on her heels and nearly chews a hole in her bottom lip.

"Rizzoli sit down!" Lieutenant Cavanaugh yells as he storms through the door. Jane sits and waits for the blow up.

"Sir, I don't know how this happened." Jane tries to explain but he cuts her off.

"It wasn't you, well it was you. Your face on Bill O'Reilly's show to be exact. One of the prostitutes is apparently trying to become a journalist and was doing a paper and was going over some old episodes. She recognized you and told her pimp. We have to get ahead of this. We are so close to closing this thing. And police commissioner had an idea. But I know you and you are not going to like this. But it might be our only chance to get these dirty cops and get Miller out without him being killed." The lieutenant pauses letting the information sink in.

"Alright, just tell me what I have to do." Jane looks at him like he is crazy anything she can do to get this case closed she'll do it.

"We fake your death. Hold on, I told you wouldn't like it but hear me out first okay?" He puts his hand up when Jane stands up from the table. "We let you go back to the apartment and make it look like Miller killed you. A head shot there would be no mistaking that you are dead. We'll have pictures. Hell the commissioner even said we will send a makeup artist who is great with prosthetics down. It was used in Chicago a few months back and worked great."

"Let's do it. I'll go right now." Jane stands up and reaches to shake the man's hand but he doesn't take it.

"That's not the part you aren't going to like. We need to make this look real. As in official, a full police burial. You will be put up in a small motel Exeter, New Hampshire. You won't be able to leave or call anyone at all until after this case is wrapped. And you know that could take some time since you've been made and everyone is going to be very jumpy." He looks at the female detective waiting for the question he knows is coming.

"Okay, I still don't see what I wouldn't like? What am I missing?" Jane says.

"We need to keep a lid on you being, alive. We can tell your mother but that's it. We need to not leave any loose ends on this. We would bring your mother in, let her know what's going on. Setup a time for you two to speak for ten minutes and then that's it. You'll be dead. No one will know but Miller, the commissioner, your mother and myself. We can't risk anyone else knowing." The moment he says it Jane shoots out of the chair.

"No, I am fine with this. I am fine with being a ghost for a while. But Maura has to be told. I can't do this unless she knows. This will kill her, she can't think I am dead. She can't, she has to be told." The brunette paces behind her chair.

"It's the only way Rizzoli. I am sorry. And we do this tonight. The commissioner already signed off on this and you signed off on the undercover assignment. It's out of your hands." He tried to call Jane down as best he could before they left to get the photoshoot over with.

* * *

 **3 days later**

"Ma! Calm down I am perfectly fine. I was never in any actual danger. I don't have a scratch on me. Ma." Jane listens to her mother for nearly seven minutes before she has to cut her off. She needs to tell her.

"Ma! Listen, I need you to keep an eye on Maura for me. Please, listen you have to make sure she's okay. They won't let me tell her and she is going to take this so hard. Promise me, promise me you will look after her. You keep saying how she is like your daughter and she is going to need you. I don't know how long it will take for them to wrap everything up. It's a little harder now because of them finding out a cop was undercover. Promise me, Ma. Thank you. Look I have to go. I love you and I will call you the second they say I am free."

Jane hangs up the phone with her mother and lays back against another crappy twin mattress. Cavanaugh did do Jane one solid and that was let her take her phone. He was going to give her just a burner phone but she wasn't having it. She told her there was a message she hadn't been able to listen too yet. After she agreed to listen to the message she had to take the SIM card out and turn the phone off until she was given the all clear. She turned the phone back on and checks her message.

"Jane, it's Maura. I'm so sorry it took me so long to as you like to say get my head out of my ass. I miss you too and I cannot wait for you to come home. Anything you want to talk to me about, you don't need to. This is on me, I was a total jerk. I am glad you are safe. At least I think you are safe. I haven't heard from you in a few days and neither has Angela, so I am a little worried. I want my best friend back. I miss you Jane. I love you. Talk to you soon."

The message ends and Jane quickly grabs her laptop and saves all her data on the hard drive. At this point she is in tears, Maura's message was everything she wanted it to be. But her heart is breaking knowing what Maura is about to go through. She throws the phone against the wall and fall back against the mattress cursing herself for all she is worth for not making them tell Maura what was going on.

* * *

 **7 weeks later**

Jane is sitting in a small diner a block away from her motel. For being a small town they were totally up to date on technology. There was WiFi everywhere. She had just finished a salad and was stalking her family and friends Facebook pages. She is so desperate to try and find out any information she could about Maura. _I must truly love that gorgeous woman because I just ate a salad because I miss her so much._ Nothing, she has not been able to see anything on Maura since the day of her feux funeral. And the honey blonde woman did not look good and it tore Jane apart knowing she caused that. But since then nothing. Not a mention, not a picture, hell not even half a picture. And Jane's burner phone finally rings.

"Ri..ght?" Jane answers and cringes when she almost uses her surname. "That fantastic, Sir. When can I go home?" She drops some bills on the counter and grabs her things and bolts out of the diner.

"Okay. So if I make it to the airport in an hour I can get on the next flight back? Great, thank you. I will see you in a few days. I want to go home and speak with my family first." Jane can't stop smiling she was finally going home.

The detective jammed her suitcase full of everything she could find that was hers in the room before running out to the airport. While waiting in the terminal she called her mother and let her know she was coming home. She asked her not to tell Maura, that she wanted to tell her in person. The doctor has been through so much and her mother told her Maura had a really rough night. Jane told her mother to make sure Maura was okay and she would be there as soon as she could.

Jane sits in the backseat of the cab bobbing her leg. She has checked her watch a hundred times since she climbed in it's just before three in the morning. Her nerves kick in the second the cab turns down Maura's street. The detective knows it's late but she cannot wait another second to tell Maura she is okay. Her mother's words keep ringing in her head, how hard Maura took the news and how she is slipping away right before their very eyes.

The cab pulls in the driveway and Jane gets out and pays the man. She stands out front looking up at Maura's bedroom window. The lights are out but Jane knows the doctor is a light sleeper and probably woke up when the cab pulled in the driveway. Gathering her nerve Jane walks to the door and knocks. About a minute later the porch light turned on and the door slowly opened. Jane's heart broke when she saw the doctor standing before her. Maura was in Jane's Red Sox jersey but her cheeks had sunken in and her legs looked so thin. She looked so fragile, so broken.

"Jane?" Maura was barely audible. Her nostrils flare and she reaches back and punches the raven haired detective square in the nose.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello all, thank you all so much for the kind review. I guess I am on the right track.**

 **I still do not own Rizzoli and Isles.**

* * *

"Jane?" Maura was barely audible. Her nostrils flare and she reaches back and punches the raven haired detective square in the nose. She clenches her jaw at the radiating pain shooting through her hand. She steps back and slams the door in the detective's face. She walks around the kitchen island pacing. She hears the door open but she never looks over towards the woman walking over to her.

"Maura, please hear me out." Jane is covering her nose as she walks through the door. She knew Maura was going to be upset about this but she cannot wipe the shock off her face. The detective grabs a clean dish towel and applies pressure to her nose. She steps up to her best friend to try and get her to look her in the eyes. She needs to know the doctor is hearing her.

"No, do not touch me. Don't you dare touch me." The honey blonde's voice cracks and tears sting her eyes. Her brain cannot process what she is seeing. It's not scientifically possible, how is Jane standing in her kitchen. Maura's mind takes over and she sees everything playing out in her mind.

She remembers everything, every word, every tear she shed, every time her heart broke a little more. She remembers Detective Korsak saying he was going to come over since Jane wasn't there and it's one of the nights the girls usually spend together. And how he sat at the dining room table and told the doctor Jane had died. She remembers breaking down and the detective having to call Angela over to try help. And how she and Angela sat and held each other on the couch for over an hour crying in each others arms. She remembers having to stand in front of a crowded church and give Jane's eulogy.

"Please you have to listen to me Maura please. Let me explain, if you want me to leave after I have told you everything I will. I will destroy me but I will do it. I'll do it for you." The brunette tosses the no longer needed towel in the sink and before she can even begin explain Maura cuts her off.

"It'll destroy you? You have no idea what being utterly destroyed is like. You have no idea what it is like to be told your best friend is dead!" Maura's voice begins raising as her emotions begin surging through her body. "Do you know what I went through? Do you? How could you, you weren't here! You have no idea what it has been like for me. Sit!" The doctor motions to the couch. Once the initial shock began to dissipate, she realizes Jane is standing before her with a broken nose that she caused.

Jane moves over to the couch and looks up to the pacing doctor. "Please, take a breath Maura. Please."

"You don't have a right to tell me what to do anymore. I buried you, I stood in front of the entire BPD, your family and friends and gave a eulogy. I was broken, so broken. I am still broken, I can't eat, I can't sleep, everywhere I look I see you, I hear you. You have no idea what it is like to lose the person you care about most. And now you are sitting in my living room perfectly fine. Well almost fine, I am pretty sure I just fractured your nose. There is no way you can ever know what it was like for me. Three days after your funeral I couldn't take sitting here, hearing you in my mind anymore so I went into work. My brain had tricked me into thinking you would be there but you weren't. I sat in my office and looked over the reports Dr. Pike had done while I was off. I couldn't even focus, I thought going in would get my mind off of you. But again it didn't." Maura closes her eyes and lets the tears stream down her cheeks and her body begins to shake as she plays over that day in her mind.

"I sat there at my desk staring a picture of you. I looked around my office and saw you everywhere. And then it hit me, you were never coming back to my office, to the building. I needed to remember everything about you, everything about us. So I went upstairs, because at some point your desk wouldn't be your desk anymore and I needed to go up and see your desk one more time. When I got upstairs I found Detective Frost sitting at his desk, staring at yours. Apparently neither one of us could stay at home any longer. We sat and talked for while, we were both having a difficult time not being able to say a proper goodbye. Your mother had insisted on a closed casket but she said she didn't want to talk about it. That you died of a gunshot wound. No one knows this but I went to your visitation early. I begged the funeral director to let me see you, I told him who I was that I was a doctor and I deal with the dead on a daily basis. That I needed to tell you a proper goodbye." Maura opens her eyes and looks over at the brunette.

"Come sit with me. I'm sorry, come sit on the couch. You are shaking and can barely stand. I promise I will let you keep talking and I won't touch you. You sit on the other end and I will stay over here." Jane moves and puts her back against the arm of the couch. She knows her best friend better than anyone on the planet and she knows when the doctor finally lets go she will need to be sitting. And the detective is bound and determined to be there for Maura whether she wants her to or not. The honey blonde remains standing for a few more minutes before sitting against the other arm of the couch facing Jane.

"He said I couldn't the coffin had already been sealed and if it was to be opened it could have damaged the seal. It was also against the rules and he explained that if he went against the families wishes they could take his license and his business. And I understood that and I wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing I ruined his career. I asked to see the death certificate, the only information I was told is you were shot. I need to know more and because he knew who I was he let me see it. All it said was gunshot wound to the head but I took notice of who signed off on it. And that brings me back to Detective Frost. I had the name of the M.E. in New York that performed your autopsy. And I had thought about getting the complete file myself but it would show a trail and she really didn't need to here Detective Cavanaugh coming down on me. I was already having a hard enough time as it was. And so was Frost so I had an idea. And he agreed, I had the name and Frost had the means to get the file and not leave a trace." Maura pauses trying to keep her emotions in check.

"We went into BRIC and he got to work and in under ten minutes he had it. It took another twenty minutes for me to decide to open the file. I knew, I knew that there was a chance of there being pictures. But I was not prepared for what I saw, I thought Frost understood I just wanted the autopsy report but he got the whole file, crime scene photos." Maura's voice is tight in her throat. "I saw you lying on a bed with your eyes still open, they were so glazed over and. And there was a bullet hole in your forehead. I could see the reddish brown stain on blue sheets and dripping down onto the carpet. It was awful. I saw the person I care about most shot in the head. My brain couldn't process everything I was seeing and reading on the screen. So I rushed over and before Frost could stop me I sent a copy to my email. And you would probably think he was the one to get sick at the photos but he didn't because that nauseous feeling I couldn't get rid of took over and I got sick in the trash bin. He was so good, he held my hair and told me it was okay. And when I pulled myself together I thanked him and left quickly. I needed to go and be alone. I needed to read every detail, I needed understand what happened. I went home and read every page dozens of times and it never got easier. I kept reading the file, at least once a day. I was in a living hell." Maura finally raises her eyes to look over at Jane for the first time since she sat down.

"Maura I know I..I got your messages. The one saying we were okay and all the ones after. It broke my heart to hear you so upset. I wanted to call you but I couldn't. Please believe me when I tell you I am so sorry and I will do anything to make it up to you." Jane really just wants to wrap her arms around her best friend but the look on the doctor's face tells her she isn't done yet. So the detective sits and waits.

"You got them? I..you know the first one came the night of your funeral. I woke up screaming and I needed you so bad and your clothes and the picture I had next to the bed weren't enough. I picked up my phone and was just going to leave a text but then I remembered I could hear you if I called and got your voicemail. I needed to hear your voice and I had thought if I could just hear it I would be okay. And for a moment I let myself think you were still here, I heard your voice and I had to leave you a message. And once I started leaving messages I couldn't stop. But that caused a whole other host of problems." The blonde's bottom lip trembles and she shakes her head before continuing.

"Once I started leaving the messages I..I..I couldn't stop. And then I started to see you and hear you everywhere. At first it was just here at home, I did everything I could to ignore you when I was at work or out at the grocery store. But it got to the point I could not ignore you and then I got to the point I didn't want to even try. I couldn't do it, I c..c..couldn't be alone. I couldn't be without you. I..I..I.." The emotions have become too much and Maura finally hits that wall.

Jane cannot sit there and watch her best friend any longer without comforting her. She moves over to Maura's side and tries to pull her into a hug but even though the doctor has become frail she is putting up a good fight. The blonde is pushing, slapping and telling Jane to let her go. But when the detective finally gets ahold of the smaller woman's wrist and pulls her into a tight hug Maura falls apart completely. She is sobbing so hard she is physically shaking Jane's entire body.

"It's okay Maura. I'm here, I am not going anywhere ever again." She kisses the side of Maura's head. "I know you must think I am lying but I am not. I told Cavanaugh that I would never go undercover again. I couldn't do that to you again. Baby please calm down for me." The detective continues to rub Maura's back soothingly. _Rizzoli you really fucked up this time._ "I promise you I am here please let me make this up to you. Please let me try." She whispers.

They sit on the couch with Jane rocking Maura for over an hour. Jane has no idea if the doctor is even willing to let her try and repair what the detective broke. Maura's breathing begins to steady and she pulls back from the detective. The doctor is so torn on one hand she is so, so very angry at Jane but on the other hand she had begged to every deity known to man to bring Jane back. And right now sitting before her is the person she loves most and it's not her mind playing tricks or a dream, it's real.

"Jane, I needed you." The honey blonde's bottom lip trembles again. "I still need you, please."

"Oh, Maura." Jane wraps her arms around the smaller woman once again. "I'm here baby and I need you too. I promise I will do everything to make this up to you. Can you look at me?"

Maura pulls back just enough to look the detective in the eyes but cannot take her hands away from the lanky body. Right now she needs to keep real, physical contact with Jane.

"I did not want to tell you like this but I have to tell you now. I can't wait anymore. I love you Maura. I am in love with you, I have been in love with you for so long and I wanted to tell you sooner but then I had to leave. But I want to make it up to you if you'll let me." Jane cups Maura's cheeks, chocolate orbs search hazel. What she sees takes her breath away.

"I have waited so long to hear you say that. I love you too." With her arms still around Jane's neck Maura presses their foreheads together. "We have so, so, so much more to talk about. But we will get through this because you are my best friend and I need you. But I need sleep it has been so long. I have not slept longer than three hours at a time since I was told you died."

"Okay, I'll bring you to your room and get you settled and go to the guest room." Jane says.

"No! Please you have to stay with me." Maura's eyes have grown wide and her breathing is becoming ragged as she begins to panic. She just got Jane back and she cannot let her be anywhere other than by her side.

"Okay, I'll stay. You need sleep and I am not going to go anywhere." The detective sees the calm start to take hold in Maura. Jane moves one of her arms under the doctor's knees and picks her up in one easy motion. Maura lays her head down on Jane's shoulder as she walks upstairs to the bedroom.

Jane places the doctor in the middle of the bed and turns the covers down on Maura's side of the bed. The detective walks over to the dresser in the closet and grabs a pair of her shorts and a BPD tee. She pads back over to the bed and crawls under the cover and pulls the doctor to her.

"I am not going anywhere, close your eyes and let me hold you. When you wake up I will still be here." Jane kisses the top of the doctors head.

"Stay with me." Maura whispers as her eyes fall closed. The feel of Jane's arms around her, the light lavender scent and the kiss to the top of her head is just too much for the doctor. Her body is wholly and completely exhausted and she cannot help but fall asleep.

"I wouldn't be anywhere else." Jane whispers against honey blonde locks. She tightens her hold around her best friend. The brunette stays awake for about an hour rubbing Maura's back and just watches her sleep. She has never cared about anyone even half as much as cares about the doctor. Her head luls to the side and on top of Maura's and Jane drifts off into the first decent nights sleep she has gotten since she left.

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 **Well there you have it. Hope you all liked newest chapter. I know it seems quick that they admitted their feelings for one another but it was a long time coming. This is not going to be a snap your fingers and they are a perfect couple. There is going to be some hard times ahead for these two. Please keep coming with the reviews it helps me keep the story on the right track.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello all, thanks for sticking with me this far. I really appreciate all the review and the follows for this little project of mine. Hope you enjoy this new chapter.**

 **I still do not own Rizzoli and Isles.**

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Jane wakes up to the sound of screaming. Her eyes fly open and she looks around trying to figure out her surroundings. She notices the clock and they have only been asleep for an hour and a half. She rolls over and sees Maura gripping the sheets and screaming and calling out for Jane.

"Shhhhhh, I'm here Maura. It's just a dream. Wake up for me." Jane tries gently shaking the doctor but it's not working so she tries again. "Maura, baby wake up." Jane is nearly shouting.

Maura sits straight up, her eyes are wide but she is not yet seeing what is truly there. She feels a hand on her back rubbing circles and she hears the muffled sounds of someone talking. The doctor's heart is racing and her breathing is sporadic, her body is shaking.

"I'm right here." Jane whispers against honey blonde locks. She wraps her arms around the smaller woman. "It's okay, I'm right here. I got you."

Maura's breathing and heartbeat starts to regulate, she is starting to come back to reality. She wakes up like this everyday but today is different. Someone is here with her. When she can no longer hear the pounding of her heart in her ears she recognizes the husky voice coming from beside her.

"Jane?" The doctor has woken up from the same vision of Jane laying on her autopsy table since she got her hands on the full report. And this isn't the first time she is waking up to hearing Jane's voice calming her down. What is new is the warm feeling of the detective's hand on her back. That's when the night before comes flooding back to her. "Please stop." The monotone voice coming from the doctor scares the detective.

"Maura, I." Jane stops rubbing the doctor's back and scoots away from her just a little.

"You have no idea what I have had to live through. I wished for you to come back but I can't do this. You cannot be here right now. We have a lot more to talk about but you need to leave. Now!" The doctors jaw is set and her gaze is focused on the foot of the bed.

"Please don't push me away. I know you must be upset. But I really didn't have a choice, it wasn't up to me." The brunette pleads.

"You couldn't be this nieve, did you really expect to just waltz right back in here and we would just go back to being best friends?" The doctor shakes her head.

"No I didn't just think I would walk in and everything would be okay. But after last night I thought we'd at least be on the right track. Please let me stay let me talk to you. Because later I have to go and explain to Korsak, Frost and Frankie that I am still alive and I was hoping you would come with me." Jane shifts uncomfortably on the bed.

"I can't Jane. I'm sorry but I just can't.* The honey blonde bring her knees to her chest. _How did everything go so wrong? I needed Jane to come back to me but she here and I cannot get over the fact that she deceived me._

"Why? I don't understand why you can't at least just try." The detective cannot hide the hurt in her voice.

"Because you lied. You did more than lie Jane. I was told you were dead, I buried you. Do you remember when you got so mad at me and it took you over a week to not be mad at me for not telling you about Tommy being arrested?" Maura says her voice a little stronger than it has been in weeks.

"Yes, but this isn't the same." Jane is cut off by the doctor.

"You are right, it is not the same. Not by a long shot, I was deceived into believing you were dead. I am still grieving that loss. I didn't tell you the FBI was looking to arrest your brother and I understand I should have told you. And I regret my decision but that is nothing at all like what you have done to me. I lost the person who I love the most. Do you know how that feels?" The doctor stands from the bed and begins pacing.

"I know I should have told you, I know that. But I was scared for you Maura. That case was bad and so deep. The lieutenant at the 14th precinct was the ring lead, there were sixteen other law enforcement officers working with him not to mention one of the city's worst gang leaders. Cavanaugh told me I needed to not tell anyone. That it was putting everyone's lives at risk and I couldn't put you at risk. I asked him to not do the funeral but he said it needed to be real otherwise it wouldn't be believable. That they would come after everyone I love and hurt them until to talked and if they didn't they would kill you all. I was trying to protect you." Jane scoots to the edge of the bed.

"I know you believe that and on some level I understand but that does not take away the hurt. It doesn't make my heart hurt less. God yes I wanted you back at any cost. But I knew that could never happen because you were dead. No I hadn't come to terms with it yet. I was fighting so hard to keep hold of every part of you that was left around. Your clothes, your desk, your dog, hell I even have the last few beers you didn't get the chance to finish in my fridge because I wanted you around so badly. And now you are sitting in front of me. I..I can't do this right now I'm sorry Jane." Maura stops pacing and faces the detective. It hurts her more than she thought it would to ask Jane to leave but she needs time. She needs time to process all that has happened.

"Please don't make me leave. I just got back and I want to talk to you about everything. You are more important to me than anyone else. I don't even care about seeing anyone else. Right now I care about trying to fix things with us." The detective stands and reaches for Maura's hand but the honey blonde steps out of her reach.

"Please don't touch me." The doctor closes her eyes and she shakes her head. "I..I don't know how long it's going to take for me to be able to be around you. I just can't, I'm sorry.* Maura makes the hardest decision of her life and walks away from her best friend, the woman she loves, and locks herself in the bathroom.

Jane feels her eyes sting with tears as she watches the doctor move into the bathroom. Her breathing is coming in rapid burst and her heart is pounding. Walking to the bathroom door she knocks. "Maura, please you don't have to do this."

"Yes I do Jane. Please, this is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. But I need you to leave." The doctor's voice is thick with emotion.

"I am going to go but I will be back later Maura. I love you. I need you." The brunette runs her hand down the door. With tears rolling down her cheeks she walks away. Not because she wants to but because she loves the woman on the other side of the door and would do anything to make her stop hurting. So if that means walking away for a little while then so be it.

Maura sits on the edge of the bathtub and cries. She cries just hard as she did the night she was told Jane had died. The mournful wailing now is the same as then. It's like she is losing her best friend all over again. Her heart breaks and for a few moments she thinks about running after the detective. But if there is any way for them to truly move forward she will need time to really process what happened. She lowers her head into her hands and before she knows what is happening she is packing a bag. She isn't leaving for good but she needs time to process and if there is one thing about Jane, she will never stop coming over until she can make the doctor's pain go away. And right now Maura needs time to be on her own, time to be able to figure everything out. She calls Bass' usual sitter and sets him up for two weeks. She doesn't know if she is going to be gone for less or longer than two weeks but that seems like a fair place to start. She grabs her bag and heads out to the garage and gets in her car and takes off toward her parents Hamptons house.

* * *

Jane sits in her car outside of Frankie's apartment. Her mother had arranged for Korsak and Frost to come over so she could explain everything that happened in person. She watched as both men entered the building Korsak looked like someone kicked his puppy and Frost looks tired. Her heart pangs for her friends, she caused all of this but she had no choice. She is a little surprised to see that both men haven't been told why they are gathering today. Her mother must not have told them why, she could have sworn she had said she would tell everyone before she got there so when she got there she could just explain everything. The brunette decides she has sat in her own self pity for long enough and heads towards the building.

She had text her mother to signal her arrival so she could buzz Jane into the building. She walks up the three flights of stairs and knocks on the door. She can hear everyone on the other side of the door talking. When Frankie opens the door is jaw drops.

"Hey little brother." Jane gives a tight lipped smile. After Maura's reaction she is hesitant to try and hug him. She had just gotten back from the ER where they had to reset her nose.

"Janie?" Frankie's words come out a strangled cry as he wraps his sister in a tight hug. At his outcry the other two men's heads turns to the door and both are too their feet in seconds.

"What the hell is going on?" Korsak shouts, he doesn't mean to but he is beyond shocked to see is former partner who was supposed to be dead standing at the door.

"I..How?" Frost can't even get the words out.

"How about we step inside." Angela says from her spot behind Frankie.

Frankie reluctantly lets go of his sister. He ushers her inside and closes the door behind them. Jane stands awkwardly by the door.

"Is someone going to say something?" Korsak stands in front of Jane with wide eyes.

"Janie.." Angela begins but Frost cuts her off.

"I'm sorry Mrs Rizzoli but Jane needs to be the one to talk." He says not out of disrespect for the older woman.

"How about we go sit down and I will tell you everything you want to know." Jane says softly.

Angela and Frankie grab everyone a fresh drink and come to sit in the living room with the rest of the group. Korsak, Frost and Frankie sit on the couch and Angela and Jane both take an armchair. Jane sighs and gets ready to explain but when the senior detective looks around he interrupts her.

"Hold on, where's the doc?" He looks at Jane and she sighs

"I have been home since last night and I went to see her right first thing. She is really upset and said she didn't want come. She said she needed time." The brunette grew quiet as she thinks back to her night and morning with Maura.

"Do you really blame her Jane? Did you take a good look at her? I mean god she is a mess. She doesn't eat and I am sure she isn't getting much sleep." Frost says.

"I did and feel awful about how badly I hurt her and messed everything up. I hurt you all and I am sorry." Jane says as she peels the label off her beer.

"I don't think you fully understand what was going on here. It is like she was dying before our eyes. The woman that looks like she could grace the cover of any magazine stopped living. Sure she still did her job but that's it. She did nothing else, she wouldn't talk to any of us either and we couldn't talk about you to her at all. She came to work in a pair of flat and your t-shirt and jeans. Out of all of us she took it the hardest. No matter how hard we tried to help her she just didn't want us to." Jane throws up her hands silencing her partner.

"I messed up okay and I know how much I messed up. But I was doing my job, a job we all do. I thought at least you three would understand. Will you all at least hear me out about what happened?" Jane looks around to the three men and for the first time in her mother's life she has not butted in once and the younger woman is grateful. All three men nod so she continues.

"So you all know the undercover assignment I was working on by now. It's all over the news. So I went to New York and went under and everything was going great. We had already gotten so much information collected and we really just needed the lieutenant on video and at the end of the week I was going to another big buy he was supposed to be at. The day before Cavanaugh had me yanked out and told me I had been made. Apparently one of the girls was working her way through college and was watching some Bill O'Reilly reruns. One of them featured me and at the end there was an update stating I was working on a really big case. She told her pimp and I had a hit out on me." She sighs again.

"And we all know they wouldn't stop until I was taken care of. So the decision was made to keep me, the other undercover detective and all of you safe it had to look like I was dead. So we set everything up and a funeral was done. I wanted to tell you guys but I couldn't risk your safety. So I did what I had to do and I don't regret keeping you all safe. Cavanaugh and Ma were the only two allowed to know. I really thought I was doing the right thing. But looking at all of you, at Maura. I..I don't know if it was the right thing to do, I should have put up a bigger fight to let all of you be told. And I am sorry for that." Jane hangs her head. Korsak is the first to speak.

"You should have found a way to let us know. I know there are rules but you have never followed a single one. But I get it, we all have a job to do. But I for one am glad you are back. There is going to need to be some trust that needs to be rebuilt but we can get through that." The older detective wants to be angry but he has watched this woman go through hell and back with Hoyt. So being mad and shutting her out isn't the answer.

"I think this maybe a first but I agree with the old man." Frost chuckles and extends his hand to his partner. Jane takes his hand and gives it a firm shake. "I haven't been given a new partner yet and now I understand why. But I might ask for a new partner anyway. Don't get me wrong I am glad you are back but I need to be able to have complete trust in my partner and I don't trust you right now. I'm sorry but I just don't."

"Wow. I..I uh, I understand and I am also going to prove to you all that I can be trusted. It's not like I tried to mislead you. I was doing my job I didn't have a choice in this." Jane doesn't mean to raise her voice but she cannot believe everyone is acting like she did all of this on purpose.

"Sis, we are all a little in shock here that's all. We love you and are here for you but we need a little bit of time to be able to trust you and bring you back into our lives. We buried you and we tried to move on as best we can. But we still love you." Frankie stands up and gives his sister another hug.

"How about we eat, Janie hasn't had a proper meal in god knows how long. And I think it's about time we started up our family meals again, together." Angela says.

They all agree that it's time to try and mend some of what is broken and doing so over lasagna seemed like a good way to start. The all talked some more the men caught Jane up on everything that had been going on in their lives. Frankie talked about the girl he has been trying to ask out for about a week. And all Angela could do was smile, yes she had known about Jane the whole time but it also hurt her to see all of the ones she loved in pain. But it did her heart good to see them all together again enjoying nice conversation and a good home cooked meal. The only missing piece was the doctor. She knew Maura's feelings for her daughter and she was the one who had to witness the daily withdrawal and how Maura's body just started to shut down due to Jane absence. Angela vowed one way or another that she would bring them back together but she respected Maura's need for time.

After dinner Angela told the others to go sit and watch the Red Sox game. She didn't get even one objection. Half way through the game Jane's phone vibrated in her pocket. When she took it out and saw Maura's name on the screen she said she had had a long day and she was going to head home for the night. Everyone could clearly see the change in the younger woman but they all said their goodbyes and said they would see her soon.

Jane drove back to her small apartment. She unlocked the door and walked into a spotless house. She isn't quite sure if it was her mother or Maura's doing. She knows her mother would want her to come home to a clean house but she had a sneaking suspicion that the doctor probably came over after she was told that Jane had died. Maura had nearly all of Jane's clothes at her house so it wouldn't shock her if Maura had been the one to get her place in order. She tossed her bag by the front door and headed to the kitchen. When she opened the fridge she mentally cursed herself for not stopping at the store to buy some beer first.

Jane trudged into her bedroom and plops on her bed. The way she left Maura this morning is giving her the feeling that this text message isn't going to be a good thing. And her suspicions were all but confirmed when she didn't get a second text soon after the first had arrived. Jane and Maura had this thing that if one of them text the other even if they couldn't truly respond right away they would at least send the other one a sleepy emoji. If one didn't come a second text or call would soon follow but nothing came.

The detetive held her phone and held her breath while swiped her phone open. She read over Maura's message about a dozen times. _You really messed up Rizzoli._

 **Jane I am sorry I can't do this right now. I am going to go away for a little while to try and process and I know you. After two days you will show up on my doorstep. I need time and two days just isn't enough. Please allowing me sometime to figure things out. I promise I am safe and I do have my phone and I would like to keep it on. Please don't have Detective Frost track my phone. And please do not constantly text or call me or I will just end up turn my phone off. Let your mother know she is still more than welcome to stay in the guest house. I will be back. Please take care of yourself Jane. -M**

 **Maura, I told you earlier I am going to give you some time. I don't like it but I will do this for you. I hate that you felt like you needed to leave your home just to get away from me to think, but I understand. You are right though if you were here it would be nearly impossible for me to stay away from you. Again, I am so sorry. I do love you. Please come back to me. -J**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hello everyone. Thanks for all of the review. I know some of you didn't really like the previous chapter but in this story it needed to happen. Everyone processes situations differently and this was just my take. I hope you all find this chapter a bit more to your liking. Thank you all for coming all on this ride with me.**

 **I own nothing. Just taking these lovely characters out for a spin.**

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Maura stands on the small balcony overlooking the water. She has been at parent's place for eight days. There has been a lot of crying, but there has also been a lot of soul searching. She knew what she wanted in life. She already had the career she loves, she has friends and the Rizzoli's have treated her like a part of the family since day one. What she still was undecided about was the detective herself. She wants Jane with every fiber of her being but she also doesn't think she can go through anything like this again. The toll it took on her when she thought her best friend was dead was something she didn't think she could survive again, she barely survived it the first time.

With the sun beginning to set the air has turned cold. Maura decides to head back inside and have another glass of wine and watch some TV. She changes into a silk pair of deep blue pajamas. She moves through the big house and the silence was deafening. She had asked Jane a few months ago if she would like to take a trip down. It had always been a place she found beautiful and when her parents asked if she would like the house she had considered it but she didn't want to make the decision alone. She had comes to terms long ago that Jane's opinion about all aspects of her life was meant the world to her.

After pouring herself another glass of wine she walks into the living room. She hasn't spent time in this room since she arrived. She has mostly spent her time walking along the beach, sitting on the patio and reading. She turns on the TV for the first time and what comes on to life on the screen has her laughing at the irony. For half a second she thought about changing the channel but she ultimately decided against it, the Red Sox Yankees game has become somewhat of a tradition for her. Well for her and Jane and the rest of the gang. She tucked her legs under herself and tossed a blanket over herself.

The detective was true to her word, she hadn't tried to track her phone because if she had no doubt she would have shown up on her doorstep. She also hasn't called and she only received one text on the third day just to make sure she was doing alright. The detective didn't ask her to come home or ask to come to her, all she wanted to know is if she was okay. Maura had sent her a short text saying she was okay but didn't go into detail and she put her phone back in the cradle on the bedside table where it has pretty much stayed her entire trip.

It was the bottom of the seventh and the Sox were down by two runs. The game had been a back and forth until the seventh inning when the Yankees took the lead. She couldn't stop her mind from drifting to Jane. She knew she would be watching the game. The Sox Yankee game is the biggest game of the year for the detective. Maura wasn't sure why she had grabbed her phone from its stationary position when she came downstairs but she now cannot stop staring at it wondering if she should text her best friend. When the Sox had a runner on third and according to the announcer their best batter was up she bit her lip and text Jane.

 **Hi, are you watching the game? -M**

* * *

Today was the Red Sox Yankees game. Normally Jane would be over at Maura's with everyone else to watch the game and have burgers, hot dogs and beer. She had gotten a call from Korsak earlier saying everyone was going to head to Frankie's for the game that she should come. She told them she didn't feel up to it. Over the last week the guys had really come around after the initial shock they had called Jane and had her come down to the Robber so they could have a proper welcome home. It had been a great night they all drank, talked, and laughed. Jane was also to explain more about what had happened with her assignment. Frost had really come around and was more than happy to have Jane as a partner again if she'd still have him after how he treated her the night before. He still had a hard time with Jane not telling Maura, she was her best friend and watching the way the doctor grieved just proved what he already knew about the pair of woman. Everyone who has met the two woman can plainly see how much they care about each other. And Frost might not be as good a detective as Jane but he knows what love looks like and those two have been in love with each other from nearly the moment they met.

Jane had just gotten back from taking Jo Friday for a walk so she wouldn't bug her during the game to take her for a walk. She goes to the fridge and grabs a cold piece of pizza and a beer. She plops down on the couch and turns on the TV. This game has the detective's nerves a wreck, she loves her Red Sox but right now they are giving her a nervous breakdown. In the fifth inning the Sox were up but at the bottom of the sixth the game was tied. Jane was on her third beer of the night and she couldn't keep her leg from bouncing. She has been shouting at the TV since the game started and she couldn't help but think back about all the times Maura would tell her she didn't need to shout at the TV. That her yelling would never have any effect on the outcome of the game. When the Yankees score two runs in the seventh inning Jane kicked over her beer that was on the table. She moved to get a clean dish towel to clean up her mess when she heard her phone buzz. Her heart all but stopped when she saw Maura's name appear on the screen.

Jane lets herself plop to the ground and sit indian style between the couch and coffee table. She takes a few deeps breaths before reading the text. She was scared to death of what the message says. But she is shock to find the text is not what she thought in fact it the farthest thing from it. The detective smiles as she texts back.

 **Hey you, yes I am watching the game. It's nearly giving me a panic attack." -J**

The detective cannot believe that the doctor is texting her about the game.

 **I can understand what you would think you are having a panic attack. This game is really intense. -M**

 **Intense is an understatement Maura. How come you are watching the game? -J**

 **I was getting settled in for the night and decided to watch something on TV. And when I turned it on the game was on. -M**

 **Seriously? -J**

It takes everything ounce of willpower Jane has not to ask where the honey blonde was.

 **Yes really. -M**

Maura wishes that the detective were there. They hadn't missed a single Red Sox Yankees game since they became friends.

 **Can I ask you something Maura? -J**

The detective waits with bated breath for the doctor's response. Yes, she promised Maura that she wouldn't text all of the time or try to ask her to come home but she misses her best friend.

 **Sure. -M**

 **How are you doing? -J**

The doctor isn't surprised the detective waited this long to even ask. I had been over a week since she left and Jane had respected her wishes of needing space. But she needed just a little time to decide what she wants and regain her composure.

 **I'm doing good Jane. How are you doing? How did it go the other night with everyone? -M**

 **I am glad you are doing okay and I am doing fine. The guys were really upset that first night but the next day we all went to the Robber and worked out a lot of things. -J**

 **Good I am glad. I really miss you Jane. -M**

Jane's heart speeds up at Maura's text. She also misses her best friend desperately but she was respecting the doctor's wishes.

 **God Maura. I miss you too. I have been waiting for you to call or text me. I honestly wish I could sit down with you and talk about everything. -J**

Maura can't help the pang in her heart over Jane's text. _Maybe it's time to finally see Jane._ She knows once she asks the detective to come over there will be no stopping her from coming. But Maura is ready, she needs to see the detective

 **I agree, we need to talk face to face. I am at my parents place in the Hamptons would you be willing to come down here? -M**

 **Are you kidding me? I would be more than willing. Please send me the address and I will leave now. -J**

Maura sends Jane the address and tells her she will see her soon. As she waits for the detective to get there she begins pacing because her nerves are getting the best. But the doctor needs to see Jane, it had been eight days and all Maura could think about is the detective. She sits on the couch with her second glass wine and tries to settle herself down.

* * *

To say Jane was thrilled would be a major understatement. All she wanted since the moment she left for the job is the doctor. Now that she finally gets the chance to make things right has her ecstatic. She called her mother and let her know she was going to see Maura and asked if she could take care of Jo Friday for her.

It only takes about four hours to get from Boston to the Hamptons. The closer she got the more nervous she became. Jane's mind was racing as she goes over all of the possible ways this meeting can go. Yes the doctor had reached out first Jane was still a little apprehensive. She pulled up the address and is a bites her lip. She puts the car in park and sits there for a few moments trying to calm her way down. She shakes out her hands and walks up to the door and knocks. She blows out short quick breaths as she waits for Maura to open the door.

Maura knew it took about over four hours to get from Boston to the Hamptons but she really wished Jane was here already. She decided to forgo the game and she sat on the couch reading one of her medical journals. When she hears a knock at the door she jumps and gasps. She puts down her journal and takes a deep breath before walking to the door.

With another deep breath Maura opens the door and gets her first look at the detective and she inhales sharply. All of her anger and insecurities seemed to dissipates when she stares in the Jane's chocolate colored eyes.

"Hi." Maura says softly

"Hey, thank you for letting me know where you were and asking me to come over. Can I come in?" Jane smiles at the doctor. What she really wanted to do right now is hug the smaller woman.

"Oh, yes, sorry. Please come in." The doctor moves aside to allow Jane to walk through the door. Maura leads the brunette though the foyer and into the kitchen. "Would you like something to drink? I don't have any beer but I have water, wine and some gin if you'd like a martini."

"Wine sounds good Maura." Jane laughs as how nervous the doctor seems.

Maura moves around the kitchen to retrieve another glass and bottle of wine. She topped off her own glass before handing the other to the detective. When Jane reached for the glass her fingertips brushed against the back of the doctor's hand and the doctor inhaled sharply.

"How about we go take a seat on the couch so we can talk." Maura says.

"That sounds good Maura. And thank you again for asking me to come." Jane makes her way into the living room and stands awkwardly beside the couch. She watches as Maura takes a seat on the far end of the couch.

"Jane sit please?" The doctor pats the spot next to her. She can't help but feel awful about Jane being so unsure as to how to act. The detective took a tentative step forward and takes a seat close to Maura.

"I am really sorry about your nose." Maura says sheepishly.

"It's okay Maura. Besides it didn't even hurt. But I have to say you have a killer right hook.* Jane tries her best to get the doctor to smile. Right now Maura can't even seem to look about at her and she'd be lying to herself if she said it didn't hurt to know the person she cared for most can't look at her.

"It's not okay Jane. I don't know what came over me. I had had a really hard night and something just snapped when I saw you standing at my front door. I am so ashamed at myself for striking you and for my behavior towards you." Maura finally looks up.

"I get it Maura, I get it more now than when it all happened. After I told guys and saw their initial reactions I understood. I was just doing my job and I was just trying to protect everyone." Jane shifts on the couch so she is more turned towards the doctor.

"You were doing your job you always do. And you always go above and beyond to keep those you care about safe. I just couldn't see it at the time. I am so sorry. I.." Maura is cut off by the detective.

"Look Maura you don't need to apologize. I can see how much you are hurting." Jane says she rests her hand on Maura's knee.

"No I do need to apologize and I need to explain." Maura grips Jane's hand that rests on her knee.

"Okay." The detective doesn't say more she wants the woman sitting next to her to do this in her own time.

"I was so lost without you. When Korsak sat me down to tell me you were dead it tore apart my soul. I don't even, I don't know how to explain it. I have lost people I loved before but somehow this was profoundly different. I wanted so badly to get you back, just have a little more time. But I knew that wasn't a possibility you were dead. I tried to move on or at least be okay with my new reality but I couldn't. And then when I saw you it overwhelmed me, and my mind raced with that fact that I could lose you again one day and I panicked That was when I realized a few things, things that scared me and I needed to get a handle on them for myself." Maura pauses.

"You realized what Maura?" Jane looks over to the doctor and what she saw breaks her heart. Maura looks so sad and a little scared. "You know you can tell me anything." She says softly.

Maura nods and shifts so she is now facing Jane. Sitting cross legged their knees brush together. Maura takes a deep breath because what she is about to say could very well change everything about her life.

"I realized I lost the thing I love most. I was too afraid before to admit it to you or even myself for that matter. And when I lost you I couldn't forgive myself for not telling you. I'm in love with you Jane. I'm sorry I don't really know how or when it happened but I love you. And when you came back I so scared. I was scared because I had a hard enough time dealing with your death the first time I didn't know if I could ever do that again. I did things and said things I shouldn't have. And I am sorry." Tears spill down Maura's cheeks.

"Maura I am so sorry. I am so sorry for what you had to go through. I would do anything to go back and do some things differently I would." Jane reaches out and wipes away the tears streaming down the doctor's cheeks.

"I love you so much and I don't ever want to lose you again. Please." Maura pleads.

"I love you too Maura, more than I ever thought was possible." The detective cannot take it anymore and wraps Maura up in a tight hug. Jane feels the doctor wrap her arms around her neck and bury her head in the crook of Jane's neck.

"Promise me you will never do anything like this to me again. Please promise me." The doctor whispers against the detective's neck. Her hands fist in the back of Jane's shirt.

"Baby, I promise I will never do anything like that again. I will never hurt you again." Jane's voice cracks. Being able to hold the woman she loves and have her love her back is the best feeling in the world. She pulls back just enough to look Maura in the eyes. "Can you promise me one thing though Maura?

"Anything." Maura nods. She would do anything as long as she can keep Jane forever.

"Promise me you won't ever shut me out again. I know why you needed to do this but I won't lie and say it didn't hurt." Jane's words are soft but the doctor can hear the emotion in them.

"I promise." It's barely a whisper. Hazel eyes search chocolate ones. Before she knows what's happening Jane leans forward and presses their lips together.

The moment their lips met it was like someone flipped on a switch. Jane gently reaches out and grips the doctor's hips pulling her into the detective's lap. Maura's hand release their deathgrip on the back of the detective's shirt and made their way to raven locks. When oxygen became imperative they pulled back panting.

"Wow." Jane can barely speak. She rest her forehead against the doctors. Jane's hands cup Maura's cheek, her thumbs rubbing slowly.

"Wow is right." Maura's hands reach up and she grips the detective's wrist.

"So what now?" Jane says still a little breathy

"We go to bed." Maura laughs at the look on Jane's face. "Not like that, I meant I am tired and I think you might be too. This has been an emotional few weeks for us. And right I would love to just curl up in bed and snuggle. We still need to figure out where we go from here and will do it together but we can wait until the morning. Let's just go to bed."

"Lead the way." Jane let's Maura stand.

Maura leads them up the staircase and down the end of the hall to the spacious master suite. Jane doesn't even look around the room her eyes stay focused on the doctor the entire time. Maura let's go of the detective's hand so she can turn down the bed. The detective watches as Maura slides between the covers and follows suit. Once under the covers Jane opens her arms to Maura and when the smaller woman scoots over and presses herself against Jane's side she pulls the covers up over them both. They lay in silence revealing in the closeness. Jane kisses the top of the doctor's head. It wasn't until Maura's breathing evened out and she is certain the doctor is asleep that Jane allowed her own eyes to close and drift off.

* * *

 **Hope you all enjoyed the latest chapter. And yes we are FINALLY venturing into the full blown Rizzles phase.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hello all, thanks for all of the reviews and follows. Keep the reviews coming. I hope you all like this chapter.**

 **I do not own Rizzoli and Isles.**

* * *

Maura began to stir from the first night of solid sleep she has had since Jane went undercover. She rolled over without opening her eyes and reached out for the raven haired beauty. When her hand only finds the cold sheets her eyes pop open. She looks around the room and begins to panic.

"Jane?" Maura says so softly that if Jane wasn't in the room she never would have heard the doctor speak.

The doctor jumps out from under the covers and rushes to the bathroom hoping to find Jane there but the room is empty. Now her panic is going through the roof. She rushes out of her room and heads down the narrow walkway the overlooks the living room and kitchen and extends to the other side of the house where the four other guest rooms are. She enters each one and the two other bathrooms on the top floor to find them all empty.

"Damn it Jane. You promised me." Maura chokes out.

Maura rushes down the stairs and takes a quick look in the small powder room off the kitchen and still no Jane. Her heart is racing and tears begin to well in her eyes. The only place she hasn't checked yet is the basement that was converted into a home gym. She bounds down the stairs two at a time and checks the main area to find it empty too. She heads to the smaller room off the the right that has a sauna and tanning bed in it and it was empty too. At this point the doctor is in a state of shock. _How could Jane do this to me? We just talked about everything and I was finally done being a jackass._

She slowly makes her way back upstairs and into the kitchen. Maura leans over the counter and covers her face with her shaking hands. After a few minutes of just standing there and crying she was calm enough to grab her phone and call Jane. Before she could even swipe the phone open the missing detective walks through the door with takeout containers and two coffees.

"Jane." The name came out a strangled cry. Maura rushes over to Jane and throws her arms around her neck. The force of the hug pushes the detective back and she nearly drops everything she is holding.

"Whoa, Maura baby what's wrong?" Jane couldn't care less about the food and coffee she is holding. She spins herself to be able to place the items on the small table by the door before wrapping her arms around the smaller shaking woman.

"I woke up and you were gone. I..I thought you left me." Maura buries her face in the crook of the detective's neck.

"Hey look at me." Jane pulls back just enough to look into the M.E.'s hazel eyes. "I told you last night I am not going anywhere. I just went to pick us up some breakfast that's all."

"Please don't do that again. Don't run off without telling me." Maura says sheepishly.

"I'm sorry I scared you. You were sleeping and you looks so peaceful I didn't want to wake you. But I promise next time I will okay. I didn't mean to scare you." Jane kisses the smaller woman's temple. "How about we go into the kitchen and have breakfast and we can talk some more okay?"

"Okay, that sounds good. I'm sorry I overreacted and thank you for breakfast." Maura untangles herself from the detective and grabs the two coffees before heading into the kitchen.

"You don't need to apologize, I should have let you know I was going out." Jane grabs the two takeout containers and follows the doctor into the kitchen. "I got you an egg white, spinach and feta omelette."

"Really? How did you know what I was going to want?" The doctor moves around the kitchen grabbing two plates, forks and napkins.

"How long have we been friends? I have watched you eat nearly the same thing everyday for breakfast since we became friends. Besides I didn't figure you'd want something big to eat. Ma told me that you really hadn't been eating since..you know." The detective inwardly curses herself for bring up what could have ended the best thing in her life. She quickly shovels a bite of waffles into her mouth.

"I didn't think you paid that close attention to me or my eating habits." Maura takes a sip of her coffee and a small appreciative moan escaped her lips. "Your mother is right, I have had a severe decrease in appetite since you left."

"I'm sorry about everything, I was really doing what I thought was right." Jane sits back in her chair and watches Maura eat. If the doctor couldn't eat before she would be eating now. She was rail thin and looked exhausted and Jane was determined to help Maura get back to her healthy self.

"You don't need to apologize to me. I know you were doing your job. But I somehow couldn't get past my own grieve and selfishness." Maura begins picking at her omelette. About halfway through she was already full.

"How about we both agree to stop apologizing for the past. Regrettable decisions were made on both sides but let's focus on the future." Jane looks over at the smaller woman pushing her food around her plate.

"That sounds like a great idea Jane." She looks up from her food to see the detective giving her sad eyes. Maura hadn't even realized she had been playing with her food and she places the fork on the edge of the plate.

"So what do you have planned for today?" Jane stands and grabs both plates and rinses them off before putting them in the dishwasher. She feels the doctor's arms snake around her waist.

"I have no plans. I haven't made a single plan apart from the initial decision to come down here." Maura presses herself against the detetives back. "Is there something specific you'd like to do today?"

"Don't really care as long as I get to spend my day with you. We have spent far too much time apart and I plan on making up for lost time." Jane spins around in the doctor's arms.

"How about we go down to the water for a little while. It's supposed to be really nice out. We could swim and just lay out." Maura says.

"Sounds good. Is there a shop close by I can run to real quick. I didn't exactly bring my suit because I wasn't sure what I was coming down here for so I just grabbed my pre packed overnight bag." Jane says with a sheepish smile.

"There are a few shops in town but I have extra suits here. In the second guest bedroom on to the left has a dresser full."

"No way Maura, I am not wearing another woman's swimsuit." Jane shakes her head.

"They are clean Jane. Besides I am pretty sure there are a few new suits up there. But if you'd rather go buy one you can. It'll give me a good excuse to go shopping." The doctor says with a twinkle in her eye.

"Oh, Maura please just let me run and come right back. If you come with me you and I both know we won't ever make it back before dark. One store will turn into twenty and I'll be left standing in the corner holding your purse and bags." Jane whines.

"Okay I know you hate when I drag you to go shopping with me. If you want to go and get a new one I can stay here and get ready. Make us some lunch to bring down to the water with us." Maura reluctantly pulls back from the detective.

"Thank you Maura, I will be really quick at the store I promise. Is there anything else you need from the store?" Jane grabs her keys off the counter.

"Um, if you wanted beer I would suggest you pick some up. I don't have any." Maura says.

"Will do, anything else?" Jane says with a smile.

"A kiss before you go?" Maura says with a smirk.

Jane doesn't need to be asked twice. Their first kiss last night had awoken something within her that she was eager to explore. She step over to the doctor and cups her face and leans in and kisses her softly. _God her lips are even softer than I ever thought possible._ The detective's arms wrap around Maura's slim waist and pulls her closer. With the doctor flush against her she realizes just how well they fit together. Like to pieces of a puzzle. She pulls out of the kiss and smiles so hard you can see it in her eyes.

"I think I can get used to that." Jane says softly

"I believe I could definitely get used to that." Maura says with a smile. "Now go to the store and hurry back I really want to just lay on the beach and relax.

"Okay, okay I'm going." Jane throws up her hands in defeat. "If you think of anything else we need while I'm out text me."

"I will." Maura watches as Jane heads out the door.

All Maura can do is shake her head and laugh. God how she missed Jane. She headed upstairs to get changed. She opened the middle drawer of her dresser and starts tossing bikini tops and bottoms out of the drawer. She knows she has the perfect suit to wear but she can't seem to find it. At the very bottom of the drawer the doctor grins when she sees the emerald green bikini laying there. She quickly folds all of the previously discarded suits back up and places them back into the drawer. She changes into the skimpy suit and pulls on a pair of cut off shorts and a tank top. She leave her hair in loose curls around her shoulder and heads back to the kitchen to make some lunch.

Jane had run to the liquor store and grabbed a six pack before heading to a small boutique next door to pick out a swimsuit. The sheer amount of options overwhelmed the detective so she decided to go with the safest option, a simple black bikini. She also decided to grab a pair of black board short and a looser fitting blue tank top. Once she paid for her items she asked the sales associate if she could change into the items she bought. The sales associate said it wasn't a problem once changed she hopped in the car and head back to the doctor's place.

Jane walks through the foyer and made her way to the kitchen and it takes everything she has not to drop the six pack she is holding. Standing before her is the lovely Dr Isles stretched up on her tippy toes in a pair of barely there cut off shorts that show off her incredible assets, reaching up into a cabinet. The detective walks up behind the shorter woman pressing her front to Maura's back and reaches up and grabs the glasses off the top shelf. Maura gasps and jumps when she feels Jane press against her.

"Jane, you scared me. I didn't hear you come in." Maura grins and spins around.

"Didn't mean to scare you. May I ask why you keep your wine glasses on the top shelf?" Jane chuckles.

"It wasn't my doing, this was my parents house so the setup is theirs." Maura shrugs and wraps the glasses in cloth napkins and places them in the wicker basket.

"Oh, wait this was your parents house? Are we breaking and entering Dr Isles? Because if so I am going to have to arrest you." The detective says playfully.

"No we aren't, my mother gave me this house. Well she wants to give me this house. She knows how much I love it here and she is barely in the country so she doesn't think she needs another residence here." The doctor moves to the fridge and grabs a few bottles of water and a bottle of wine.

"Why haven't you accepted the offer? If you love it so much I don't see the problem?" Jane asks as she place two bottles of beer in the basket along side the glasses.

"I don't know, when she offered it to me last summer I felt like I wanted to talk to you about it first. But it seemed strange somehow to ask you if I should accept this house. I value your opinion above all others even back then." Maura places the sandwiches in the basket and closes it.

"Wow, really? But I do get it I ask your opinion about everything, even the small stuff. But I think if you like this place so much you should keep it. We ready to go." Jane asks.

"I just need to go grab the bag with the towels." With that being said Maura headed upstairs.

Jane couldn't help but watch as the doctor walked up the stairs. _I am in so much trouble. That woman will be the death of me._ Shortly after departing Maura came back down with the bag of towels and Jane grabbed the wicker basket and walks to the door opening it for the smaller woman. The pair walk down to the water and set out their towels.

"I'm going to go for a swim first you coming?" Maura says as she peels away her tank top and slides her shorts down revealing the emerald bikini. The doctor can't help but smirk at the look she is getting from the detective. "See something you like detective?"

"Uh..yeah something I like very much." Jane picks her jaw up of the ground. The detective quickly strips down to her bikini. Now it was Jane's turn to smirk as she watched Maura's eyes nearly shot out of her skull.

"Race you to the water." The detective laughs before she takes off toward the water.

"Not fair Jane, you cheated." Maura sprints towards Jane.

"You are just a sore loser Maura." Jane says as she kicks water at the doctor.

"Hey." Maura squeals and runs towards Jane.

Jane saw the doctor coming and she took off for deeper water. When she waded in up to her knees she dove into the water splashing the chasing doctor in the process. When the detective resurfaced she scanned the water looking for Maura but she didn't find her. She spun around in place, before she knows what's happening she feels her knee give out and a hand on her head dunking her under. She came up for air laughing.

"Now that was cheating." Jane laughed and pulled the doctor too her.

"No it wasn't, you splashed me twice." Maura giggles and wraps her legs around waist and her arms around her neck.

"How about we say we are even?" Jane suggests.

"Deal." Maura says as she gets lost in the detective's deep chocolate eyes.

Jane tightens her grip on the doctor's waist pulling her closer. She leans forward capturing Maura's lips with hers in bruising kiss. Maura didn't hesitate to kiss back she didn't think she would ever grow tired of kissing Jane. It just felt so right, they fit perfectly together and they had a wonderful give and take balance. Maura pulls back breathless and rests her forehead against the detective's.

"Are you really here?" Maura whispers.

"I am very real and I am not going anywhere ever again." Jane reassures the doctor.

"You have no idea how happy I am to hear that." The doctor pushes Jane's hair out of her face.

They staying in the water for about half an hour kissing and holding onto one another before heading back up to shore to have lunch. After eating they laid out for a little while until the sun went down. With the sun gone it was getting chilly so they decided to call it a day and head back to the house. Jane grabbed the basket and Maura grabs the towel. Neither woman could remember the last time they had been so relaxed and at ease. Maybe it was the water and the secluded beach but both figured it had more to do with the other one's presence.

They take quick showers and change into some comfortable clothes and meet back down in the kitchen. Jane is pour Maura a glass of wine, the doctor walks up behind her and wraps her arms around the detective's slim waist. She inhales deeply and allows the scent memory to overtake she senses.

"Baby, you okay?" Jane asks and turns in the doctor's arms.

"Yes, I am just trying to get as much of you as I can." The doctor tightens her grip on Jane after she had turned around.

"I'm not going anywhere Maura. I love you and you are now stuck with me. You made the mistake of telling me you loved me back." The detective laughs before leaning down and kissing the shorter woman.

"I wouldn't have it any other way Jane." Maura's squeezes the detective once more before pulling apart.

"So I was thinking maybe we could make up for the movie nights we lost? Pizza and you pick something to watch?" Jane grins.

"I think that sounds like a lovely idea." Maura says.

Jane calls and orders a pizza and Maura goes through the movie in the collection stored in the entertainment center under the wall mounted TV. She frowns at the limited selection, her parents only had a few anthropology documentaries and one art history documentary. None of them seem like a viable option for a movie night with Jane.

"Pizza's ordered." Jane yells from the kitchen.

"Movie is a bit of a problem." Maura stands and heads to the kitchen with a pout on her face.

"What's wrong? I don't like when you pout or upset. What's up?" The detective moves and kisses the top of Maura's head.

"There are only a few documentaries here. And I really wanted a movie night like we used to have." Maura says.

"That's not a problem, I am sure that TV has all the bells and whistles on it. And that means I can log into my Netflix account. So don't be upset." Jane says and walks over to find the remote and set up her Netflix.

"Just another reason I love you." Maura smiles and grabs the glass of wine Jane had previously poured and heads to the couch.

The pizza arrived and they decided to watch The Holiday. Surprisingly Maura had never seen it but it was one of Jane's favorite movies. After they had finished eating Maura snuggled up next to Jane, snaking her arms around her waist and laying her head in the detective's lap. Jane rubs the doctor's back and every now and then she quits watching the movie just to look down at the most gorgeous woman she has ever seen curled in her lap. When the credits roll Maura gets up and Jane pulls her back into her lap.

"Stay, just a little longer." Jane says as she nuzzles into honey blonde locks.

"Always." Maura whispers and shifts so she is straddling Jane's waist.

Hazel eyes lock on chocolate and Maura leans in and brushes her lips lightly against Jane's. Jane's hands move to Maura's hips and pulls her flush against her. The kiss started slow but soon turned heated, neither women could get enough of the other. Maura's hands fist in Jane's hair and her hips roll against the detective. They pull apart breathless.

"Take me to bed?" Maura asks.

"All you ever need do is ask." Jane says as she swiftly moves them both off the couch without putting Maura down.

"I love you Jane." Maura whispers below Jane's ear before she begins kissing down the column of the detective's neck.

Jane walks them up the stairs and deposits Maura softly in the middle of the bed. She pulls her tank over her head and removes her shorts and climbs back up the bed and hovers over the doctor. She lowers herself down and captures Maura's lips in a slowly yet passion filled kiss. Her hand lightly travel under the hem of Maura's t-shirt and stop there.

"Is this okay?" Jane asks and Maura nods. "Baby I need to hear you say it. I don't want to do anything you aren't ready for."

"I want this Jane, I want all of this. I want you to touch me." Maura says breathlessly.

"I love you Maura." Jane says softly

Jane slowly tugs Maura's shirt over her head revealing a black lace bra. The detective bows her head and kisses the tops of each of Maura's breast before kissing her way down yoga toned abs. She places a kiss on each of the doctor's hips and hooks her fingers in Maura's yoga pants she looks up into hazel eyes silently asking for permission, which the doctor gave with a nod. The pants a quickly remove and Jane sits back on her knees and admires the sight before. They only thing keeping her from what she wants most is a pair of lace panties and bra.

"Wow, I have never seen anything more beautiful Maura."

Jane rids herself of the last barriers remaining between them, her blue satin bra and panties follow Maura's to the floor. Jane lays back on top of Maura and let's her hand roam over the doctor's flat stomach and up to her breast. She hears Maura moan and arch into her touch. Jane leans down and takes one of Maura's nipples into her mouth. She swirls her tongue around the pert bud before biting down on it, Maura hisses and threads her hands through Jane's hair.

"Jane." Maura pleads.

Jane switches to the other breast and give it the same treatment. One of Jane's hands slowly runs down Maura's side and runs over her thigh. She pulls back from Maura's taught nipple to look into her eyes. She runs her fingers through the Maura's drenched folds, she lets out a moan as her hand makes first contact with Maura.

"Yessss." Maura moans and arches and opens her leg further for Jane.

Jane begins to kiss down the doctor's neck as her fingers find Maura's throbbing clit. Jane bites down on Maura's pulse point and the doctor moans louder.

"Jane I need you please." Maura pleads and wraps her legs around Jane's waist in an attempt to draw her in.

"I love you Maura." Jane whispers against Maura's neck as she slide two fingers deep into the doctor's slick wet core.

Jane finds a steady rhythm and captures Maura's lips once again. She feels the doctor roll her hips in time with her deep thrusts. Jane runs her tongue along Maura's bottom lip begging for entrance, which the doctor gladly gave. She could feel Maura's walls starting to flutter against her fingers.

"Yes, yes, yes." Maura chants as her eyes being to roll in the back of her head as her orgasm rips through her.

"You are beautiful baby." Jane says softly.

Jane slows her fingers to let Maura ride out every ounce of pleasure she can. When Maura's hips finally still and her body goes limp, Jane slowly removes her fingers and crawls back up the bed and pulls the doctor to her kissing the top of her head.

"Oh my gosh." Maura pants, with effort she drapes her arm over Jane's abdomen as she tries to regain control over her breathing.

"You okay Maura?" Jane kisses the side of the doctor's head.

"Oh yeah more than okay." Maura chuckles. "Give me a minute and I will return the favor."

"No baby rest. After you rest you can have me anyway you want me." Jane reaches down and pulls the covers over them both. "I love you so much."

"I love you too Jane. More than words can express." Maura's voice is soft and she lays her head in the crook the detective's neck.

Jane rubs soothing circles on the doctor's side. Maura's breathing evens out and Jane lifts her head to look down and make sure the doctor is asleep. The detective places a soft kiss on Maura's forehead before she too falls asleep with a smile on her face.


End file.
